{"id":253,"date":"2006-10-17T18:57:06","date_gmt":"2006-10-17T23:57:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/womantalk.wordpress.com\/2006\/10\/17\/the-bucking-stops-here\/"},"modified":"2006-10-17T18:57:06","modified_gmt":"2006-10-17T23:57:06","slug":"the-bucking-stops-here","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/?p=253","title":{"rendered":"the bucking stops here"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve decided that I want to wear my ring on my left-hand ring finger like other American women. I am tired of answering questions and defending the uninteresting position of wearing my engagement ring on another finger.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily bluenile.com has a 45-day free resizing policy. I sent the ring back yesterday registered mail (under lock and key) and insured (for the full purchase amount). I miss my ring. It&#8217;ll be back in 2-3 weeks.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m getting downright staid and boring. Other traditions I&#8217;ve stopped bucking:<\/p>\n<p>1. casual sex  &#8211; I now believe in being emotionally intimate before physically intimate (!!!)<\/p>\n<p>2. co-habitation without marriage &#8211; When it comes right down to it, I want to do for myself what I would want for my daughter. I think that living with somebody makes you start acting married without making the emotional committment of marriage (i.e. sharing money, belongings, food, books, children, and friends) &#8211; that&#8217;s why Chad and I still live separately, even though we&#8217;ve been together almost five years.<\/p>\n<p>3. marriage &#8211; For all the years I pooh-poohed traditional marriage, I think I neglected the importance of stopping and taking the time and energy to commemorate and celebrate with family and friends a critical bond with another human being. It is the ceremony of creating a new family member. It signals the start of a brand new family! That&#8217;s important.<\/p>\n<p>4. a ring &#8211; If I had waited for my first husband to save and buy me a beautiful <em>something<\/em>, we would have never married. It is a symbol of love and devotion &#8211; and it is also a financial hurdle that says, I can make money and I would potentially support you at home if we have children. I couldn&#8217;t marry somebody who didn&#8217;t believe in at-home mothering. And I am done with men who cannot take care of themselves, much less me, or children we might have together. I know I am capable of taking care of myself (and others). I still want to be with somebody who can (and wants) to take care of me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve decided that I want to wear my ring on my left-hand ring finger like other American women. I am tired of answering questions and defending the uninteresting position of wearing my engagement ring on another finger. Luckily bluenile.com has &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/?p=253\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36,73,98],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-253","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diamonds","category-marriage","category-relationships"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=253"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/253\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=253"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=253"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womantalk.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=253"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}