In the History of Negligent Mothering…

If there is one thing I tell every anxious new mom hovering over her baby; it’s, Every baby falls off the bed. Even my friend Darlene, who has been a parenting inspiration to me, has matter-a-factly said, Every one of my kids rolled off the bed. (And for those of you who don’t know – that’s FIVE kids.)

I’ve explained it slowly and patiently to friends new to parenting: Babies can do more and faster than you ever imagine. One moment they can’t and the next they can!

I’ve told my sister and I’ve heard her repeat it to others. Yes, despite all her and her husband’s best efforts, their darling girl has hit that wood floor by the bed – more than once I hear.

But last week, watching my own baby Christian inch along backwards along the floor, I thought to myself, I’m going to break the chain! This baby is NOT GOING TO FALL OFF THE BED. I might even say that I thought that thought, smugly. As if no other parent has sworn that before. Chad had been trying to persuade me to dismantle the bed and put the mattress on the floor, but I dismissed his worries with a wave of my hand.

And to that end, I’ve been vigilant about fortifying the edges with pillows and keeping a hawk eye on the baby. Today, Christian was in the center of our king-size. On his belly and chewing on a wooden toy from my sister. He was so content, I hopped over to the computer to answer an email or two.

KaTHUNK! and then a teeny whimper. And then a raging wail of rage.

I ran around to the other side of my bed and found my baby face-first on the wooden floor screaming his baby head off. Arms and legs a’flailing.

I was poised to be freaked and worried, but after a quick nursie he unlatched and gave me a milky grin. Whew. Wasn’t looking forward to telling his dad about it though.

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