I got this email from Mxxxxx yesterday, and I wondered if it was some kind of sophisticated prank:
Hi there.Â My name is Mxxxxxx and I stumbled upon your blog (googled “how to talk to women”) and I thought you might be a good person to turn to for advice, so here goes.Â I met a very intelligent and attractive woman at an art gallery opening a few weeks ago.Â She was a high school teacher in her early 30’s (I’m 28, so a little older than me).Â We had been talking for about a half hour and really developed a great rapport.Â We had even made tentative plans to meet for coffee sometime. Â
Then, things suddenly went downhill. There was a pause in the conversation and since she had classic curves (large bust, narrow waist, etc.), I commented that she had a â€œreally nice, hourglass figureâ€.Â My intent was to be complimentary and a little flirtatious but instead she became deeply offended that I was talking about her figure.Â I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but the more I talked, the more I exacerbated things as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.Â She told me I was being “inappropriate” and that she was “very disappointed” and then WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.
As I stood there alone rubbing my cheek, I was trying to figure out why she was so upset.Â Do you have any thoughts?Â Do you think I should email her an apology note? Â
I was still considering answering his email, when I got a second email today, which to my mind, verified his existence:
Well, curiosity got the best of me and I sent her an apology note earlier today.Â Surprisingly, she got back to me and her response is below if you’re interested. Â
Hello Mxxxxxx and thank you for the apology.Â If you’re not yet aware, it is very inappropriate and highly offensive to size up a woman the first time you meet her.Â It’s unfortunate that you chose to do this, since we had a nice conversation up to that point.Â I’m passionate about being a teacher and like to be appreciated for who I am, what I do, and not how well I can fill out a bra.Â Your words, along with your tone and demeanor made me feel very uncomfortable and objectified — hence the slap across the face. Â
With all of that said, I hold no lingering hard feelings.Â At least you showed some good manners by apologizing and knew that it was proper etiquette to turn the other cheek when a female slaps you.Â Hopefully you can learn from this experience and have better luck in the future.Â Â Â
Thanks for the update. I am interested.
In my opinion, it is not appropriate to comment on a woman’s body until she is happily naked with you in bed. Then, feel free to go crazy telling her how much you love her body.
May I post this email exchange at womantalk? Without your real names, I mean. It is always fascinating to me how differently men and women perceive these issues!
He wrote back instantly (even though he still uses an archaic hotmail address):
Jeannie, thanks for getting back to me!Â Yes, feel free to post the story on your site.Â Â
Lesson well learned, save the body compliments until later.Â I guess I just thought we had a great comfort level.Â In any case, I struck out with the ladies on all counts that night.Â A few minutes later the owner of the gallery, a woman in her 40’s suggested that it would be best if I left.Â Being a guy is not easy – not only did I get slapped but then tossed out on the street, lol.Â Â Â
I can’t tell if the dude is a jerk or not. What do you think?