Real or not real?

I got this email from Mxxxxx yesterday, and I wondered if it was some kind of sophisticated prank:

Dear Jeannie,

Hi there.  My name is Mxxxxxx and I stumbled upon your blog (googled “how to talk to women”) and I thought you might be a good person to turn to for advice, so here goes.  I met a very intelligent and attractive woman at an art gallery opening a few weeks ago.  She was a high school teacher in her early 30’s (I’m 28, so a little older than me).  We had been talking for about a half hour and really developed a great rapport.  We had even made tentative plans to meet for coffee sometime.  

Then, things suddenly went downhill. There was a pause in the conversation and since she had classic curves (large bust, narrow waist, etc.), I commented that she had a “really nice, hourglass figure”.  My intent was to be complimentary and a little flirtatious but instead she became deeply offended that I was talking about her figure.  I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but the more I talked, the more I exacerbated things as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.  She told me I was being “inappropriate” and that she was “very disappointed” and then WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.

As I stood there alone rubbing my cheek, I was trying to figure out why she was so upset.  Do you have any thoughts?  Do you think I should email her an apology note?  


I was still considering answering his email, when I got a second email today, which to my mind, verified his existence:

Well, curiosity got the best of me and I sent her an apology note earlier today.  Surprisingly, she got back to me and her response is below if you’re interested.  

Hello Mxxxxxx and thank you for the apology.  If you’re not yet aware, it is very inappropriate and highly offensive to size up a woman the first time you meet her.  It’s unfortunate that you chose to do this, since we had a nice conversation up to that point.  I’m passionate about being a teacher and like to be appreciated for who I am, what I do, and not how well I can fill out a bra.  Your words, along with your tone and demeanor made me feel very uncomfortable and objectified — hence the slap across the face.  

With all of that said, I hold no lingering hard feelings.  At least you showed some good manners by apologizing and knew that it was proper etiquette to turn the other cheek when a female slaps you.  Hopefully you can learn from this experience and have better luck in the future.   

I replied

Hello Mxxxxx,
Thanks for the update. I am interested.
In my opinion, it is not appropriate to comment on a woman’s body until she is happily naked with you in bed. Then, feel free to go crazy telling her how much you love her body.
May I post this email exchange at womantalk? Without your real names, I mean. It is always fascinating to me how differently men and women perceive these issues!

He wrote back instantly (even though he still uses an archaic hotmail address):

Jeannie, thanks for getting back to me!  Yes, feel free to post the story on your site.   

Lesson well learned, save the body compliments until later.  I guess I just thought we had a great comfort level.  In any case, I struck out with the ladies on all counts that night.  A few minutes later the owner of the gallery, a woman in her 40’s suggested that it would be best if I left.  Being a guy is not easy – not only did I get slapped but then tossed out on the street, lol.   

I can’t tell if the dude is a jerk or not. What do you think?

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