"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

Posted on March 15, 2008 by jeannie

And hence the legend of very short stories begins with six words from Hemingway. SMITH, an online magazine, had a reader contest that turned out to be so popular that the system almost crashed under the weight of 500+ submissions a day. Now the best ones have been compiled into a book titled Not Quite What I Was Planning.

The contest? Your life story in six words.

A few good ones culled from the brief article in the Feb 25 New Yorker:

“Yes, you can edit this biography.” (Jimmy Wales of Wikipedia)

“Eat mutate aura amateur auteur true.” (Jonathan Lethem)

“Former child star seeks love, employment.” (Justin Taylor)

“Well, I thought it was funny.” (Stephen Colbert)

“Brought it to a boil, often.” (Mario Batali)

“Not quite what I was planning…” (Summer Grimes, a 25-year old hairdresser in St Paul, whose submission was chosen for the book’s title.)

Although the ones riffed by the article’s author were pretty funny too. I think the entire article was written in six-word sentences!

“Born in California. Then nothing happened.”

“Birth, childhood, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence, adolescence…”

“Canoe guide, only got lost once.”

Trying to write your own? Advice from the editor:

“Try not to think too hard.”

My own?

“Never made it to med school.”

Posted in writing | 5 Comments

No More Mr. Nice Gaius

Posted on March 13, 2008 by jeannie

After years of resisting, I have become firmly and unequivocally addicted to the TV series, Battlestar Galatica (IMDb 9.1/10.0). That may sound funny, but it’s not. It’s TIME-CONSUMING.

Posted in movies | 1 Comment

Happy Reunion

Posted on March 11, 2008 by jeannie

Bella and I went into an AT&T store today and had the web access on her phone disabled. Strangely, it could not be disabled if she had an individual unlimited texting plan ($20), but it could be disabled if I purchased the family unlimited texting plan ($30). Hmmm.

She no longer has the capacity to IM (the culprit it turns out in the humongo bill: IMing is “free” and unlimited, but you pay internet charges to log onto your IM account). She also cannot send or receive pictures anymore. Small loss appparently, Bella was aglow when she got her phone back.

And now Chad and I also have unlimited texting too.

I was trying to reduce my monthly bills – this is going in the wrong direction!! Frack…

Posted in says bella | Leave a comment

Movie Wrap-up

Posted on March 10, 2008 by jeannie

My energy level has taken a dive here in the third trimester, and so I find that curling up in front of a movie with my husband has been especially enjoyable lately. We keep meaning to get out and explore the nearby Grover Cleveland Forest, but I’m lucky if I walk around the lake a few times a week and fit in one or two sessions of Bikram pregnancy yoga. The problem with a long hike is that is seriously interferes with my naptime!

Here are some of the movies I’ve seen in the theater recently:

The Bank Job (IMDb 7.8/10.0) -  I give this movie a solid B+. It was much better than I expected with a somewhat complex plot and good pacing. Jason Statham, a British version of Bruce Willis, plays his role just right, and of course, I love that he chooses his wife over the flashy model-type of his past. It’s the story of  pretty huge bank robbery pulled off by amateurs in London some thirty years ago – based on a true story!

Semi-Pro (IMDb 6.1/10.0) – Big groan. Seldom do I groan when we go out to the movies; we see so many movies at home through Netflix that when we actually pay to go to the theater we usually see ones worth the $20-$30 for two tickets. And yes, I do like Will Farrell. I thought Talledega Nights was hilarious, but give Semi-Pro a pass, unless you want to watch Farrell be a big baby and repeatedly pretend to puke. Woody Harrelson’s few scenes were the only moments I could bear. This movie gets a C-.

and at home:

The Island (IMDb 6.9/10.0) -  Bella’s been studying genetics in her biology class and wanted to watch this one with us. (She thought it was great, even though she says she hates sci-fi. It’s kinda like how she says she loves road trips, but didn’t count the drive up to san fran as a road trip…) The Island is in the same vein as, but not as good as Gattica, Twelve Monkeys, or The Minority Report, but being that it was directed by Michael Bay, there were some fantastic visuals. Also, the car chase sequence is top-notch. Ever want to see an armored truck do multiple flips? You can here. The memorable visuals and Ewan McGregor’s acting boosts this movie to a solid B.

Terminator I (IMDb 8.0/10.0) and Terminator II (IMDb 8.4/10.0) – Holy cow, I had no idea that these two were directed by James Cameron of Titanic fame. Or that T2 won four academy awards. Or that both of these are in IMBd’s Top 250 Movies of All Time list. I missed these both when they came out because either I was too snotty to watch something called “Terminator” or out of the country, where I was also too snotty to watch something called “Terminator.” I got sucked into watching these because of an excellent series on TV right now (the season just ended) called “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” And no wonder the series is so well done, Cameron is writing the episodes. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Cameron though; is five marriages a worthwhile price for a successful career as a director/writer?

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Ungainly

Posted on March 10, 2008 by jeannie

I’m not talking about developing a waddle or getting wedged between the car and the garbage cans – I’m talking about all the emotional business I find myself going through with everybody around me. As I just read in Birthing From Within, “The essence of childbirth preparation is self-discovery…” Which means, I hope, that all this emotional work I am doing right now will better prepare me for being unblocked and open to the tremendous force of birthing labor in three short months.

It was a long hard rough week, which I don’t much feel like writing about. Let’s just say that it feels like a mid-life meltdown fueled by over-jetted pregnancy hormones. In a nutshell, I am determining that, well, not all relationships require the same degree of honesty or outspokenness. Some relationships, especially professional ones, have different priorities. And it’s important to keep one’s mouth shut some of the time.
It’s all been sorted out for the time being, and I think my relationships, especially with my husband, are improved for it. There is no doubt that marriage is hard work – and also that life is much more pleasant with an amazing companion by your side.

The making-up sure is good, though. I am looking forward to a much better week ahead, despite the daylight savings spaciness.

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*POW@* and she takes another one to the gut…

Posted on March 7, 2008 by jeannie

For Christmas this year Bella got a new cell phone. Despite my reservations, we got her a Black Jack II with a full QWERTY keyboard and although it was web-enabled, it did not require a PDA monthly web plan like the iPhone, Blackberry, or Tilt. I had given her an unlimited messaging package ($20/month) as an allowance upgrade when we moved to Orange County from Joshua Tree, which included unlimited IMing and she had developed quite a texting network over the last six months – hence the QWERTY keyboard request.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, but when Bella got the phone, she was not entirely thrilled. One, it was her only gift from me, Chad , and Santa, and two, I guess she had been hoping for something even more glamorous, like Verizon’s Voyager or at the very least she’d been hoping for the Tilt. After a week of ignoring the new phone and threatening to trade it in for another, she finally charged it up and got started on it somewhere in the beginning of January. We saw right away that her gmail was coming up automatically, so we immediately took it into the AT&T store to have the web connection disabled. Turns out that you cannot disable the web and still keep the unlimited texting – and remember you get charged for every text you receive, so even if SHE stopped texting a million times a day, she could still GET a million texts a day from all her friends… so getting rid of unlimited texting was not really an option.

We settled for getting rid of all the web icons on her phone so that she wouldn’t be tempted to go online. And we sent her on her merry way with severe admonitions that she would be responsible for any errant web browsing bills.

Well, I got January’s bill not too long ago.

Bella’s portion of the bill was $946.85.

Did your heart just stop like mine did? Talk about little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems.

$837 was incurred the first day the phone was turned on.

Then imagine me arguing with AT&T representatives, saying that my daughter said she’d never gone online intentionally. Well, you can imagine how that went over. I’m sure those cell phone reps hear that story more than once a day. I was assured that a high-level adjustment claim would be submitted and I would hear back from them shortly.

Ten days went by and the only AT&T calls I got were ones threatening to disconnect my service. I called back, only to discover that NO CLAIM had ever been submitted on my account. And so I started the entire process over again, this time with no small amount of fury and frustration in my voice. And this time I was told that the cheapest unlimited web data plan with unlimited texting was $50/month. And that signing up for this plan improved my chances of of getting the $946.85 knocked off my bill. So, in hopes of getting the charges reduced I threw yet more money on the problem and signed up.

And in case I haven’t mentioned it, Bella isn’t even allowed within ten feet of her Black Jack at the moment. I had her pull her SIM card and start using her old RAZR immediately.

To put not so fine a point on it, the relationship between Bella and I these last few weeks has been strained. Very strained. She, of course, denies any responsibility.

Luckily for her though, it looks like she will not be grounded the rest of her high school life. I received a text today saying that the charges have been reversed.

But to be honest, the whole situation’s been so stressful, it feels like I’ve already paid that damn bill – with buckets of anxious sweat.

Posted in money, says bella | 5 Comments

New Blog Alert

Posted on March 4, 2008 by jeannie

For those of you like me, who were dismayed when Laura’s blog, blue heliotrope, dropped off the radar, she’s back, reborn as a mother; blog name: il piccolino.

Laura and I wrote and illustrated countless stories together as kids and then, as now, reading her turns of phrase make me jealous! (And want to read more…)

Posted in blogs | 2 Comments

A Poem Borrowed Without Permission

Posted on March 4, 2008 by jeannie

Every once in a while I think I’ll just get rid of all my unread New Yorkers; recycle them all in a big slippery pile in a brown paper bag, and then, and then I sit down and read one. And inevitably, I haul that brown paper bag back up to my room and swear that I’ll only read the cartoons or the poems or just the fiction…

February 11 & 18, 2008’s New Yorker gave me a cartoon with which to make my brother a thank-you card, an article to pass on to a friend, an essay that made me laugh out loud, a quote for my sidebar, and this poem:

A Measuring Worm by Richard Wilbur

This yellow striped green

Caterpillar, climbing up

The steep window screen,

Constantly (for lack

Of a full set of legs) keeps

Humping up his back.

It’s as if he sent

By a sort of semaphore

Dark omegas meant

To warn of Last Things.

Although he doesn’t know it,

He will soon have wings,

And I, too, don’t know

Toward what undreamt condition

Inch by inch I go.

Posted in poetry | Leave a comment

Bradley Class

Posted on March 3, 2008 by jeannie

The first time Chad and I both made it to our Bradley class a couple weeks ago, Chad was bit grumbly, and I wondered if I’d made the wrong decision to pressure him into taking the class with me. Bradley classes are (typically) a series of twelve  2-hour childbirth classes designed to inform and support new parents interested in natural delivery. The emphasis is on husband-coached birth. I’d already taken the class before, but I wanted a refresher, plus I had reasoned that this was Chad’s first baby…

I am so glad we are taking the class together.

Despite some of the outdated sources in the Bradley workbook, I think learning the medical speak, watching natural births, and regularly practicing relaxation techniques is not only drawing Chad and I closer together, but helping us to fully to comprehend the reality of a new person joining us in a few short months. Besides which, I never am as careful with my diet as when I have to turn in an itemized account every week. The Bradley system recommends a high level of protein, 80-100 grams a day, which I rarely achieve, but still I get more protein and leafy greens than I normally would. The baby has fully formed limbs right now and is mostly putting on weight – the protein is to maximize brain development.
This week, Chad and I are focusing on practicing relaxation techniques every day for ten minutes, versus once a week for a half an hour. We’re doing pretty good too with Chad marking in advance the techniques we’ll practice each day. I have the good end of the deal since the techniques include massage!

The teacher also asked us all to go to the beach this week, which I thought was a great idea. She told us to just go and spend time there and just be, not waiting or stressing. Labor can go on for hours, even days, and I like that she likened the mental state of labor to the feeling of just hanging out by the ocean.

Chad and I went yesterday – down at Creek State Park in Monarch Beach – we brought snacks and the pup.

And since folks have been asking, here’s a pic of me and my belly (from yesterday). It was too cold to swim, but you can see the surfers in the background.

Posted in pregnancy | 2 Comments

Russian Borscht

Posted on March 1, 2008 by jeannie

Tell me what you ate when you were fourteen, because Bella won’t anything I make these days. I make a borscht with all organic produce and homemade chicken stock and what do I get? “Mom, that soup looks like blood.” I think the soup tastes pretty good, so here’s the recipe I used. I’ve had it on a note card for over fifteen years; so sorry, but I don’t know whom to credit. It’s easy but requires a lot of chopping prep.
2 Tbs butter (I use olive oil to saute)

1 1/2 c onion, chopped (or one large one)

1 1/2 c thinly sliced potato

1 c beets (I used two bunches)

1 lg carrot, chopped

3 c cabbage, chopped (I used 1/2 of a cabbage)

1 tsp (didn’t have any)

4 c stock/water

2 tsp salt

black pepper

1/4 tsp dill

2 tbs cider vinegar

2 tsp honey

1 c tomato puree (I used one small can of paste)

optional: 1 tbs raisins (I used golden)

sour cream for topping (didn’t have sour cream on hand, but this is a delicious and traditional way to serve borscht)

1. Cook tomatoes, beets, and potatoes in stock until tender.

2. Saute onions, seeds, celery, carrots, and cabbage. Add some stock from the other mixture; cook until tender. Mix contents of both pans together.

3. Add spices to taste; cover and simmer ~30 minutes.

4. Serve hot with a wallop of sour cream.

Posted in recipes | 2 Comments