the bucking stops here

I’ve decided that I want to wear my ring on my left-hand ring finger like other American women. I am tired of answering questions and defending the uninteresting position of wearing my engagement ring on another finger.

Luckily has a 45-day free resizing policy. I sent the ring back yesterday registered mail (under lock and key) and insured (for the full purchase amount). I miss my ring. It’ll be back in 2-3 weeks.

I’m getting downright staid and boring. Other traditions I’ve stopped bucking:

1. casual sex – I now believe in being emotionally intimate before physically intimate (!!!)

2. co-habitation without marriage – When it comes right down to it, I want to do for myself what I would want for my daughter. I think that living with somebody makes you start acting married without making the emotional committment of marriage (i.e. sharing money, belongings, food, books, children, and friends) – that’s why Chad and I still live separately, even though we’ve been together almost five years.

3. marriage – For all the years I pooh-poohed traditional marriage, I think I neglected the importance of stopping and taking the time and energy to commemorate and celebrate with family and friends a critical bond with another human being. It is the ceremony of creating a new family member. It signals the start of a brand new family! That’s important.

4. a ring – If I had waited for my first husband to save and buy me a beautiful something, we would have never married. It is a symbol of love and devotion – and it is also a financial hurdle that says, I can make money and I would potentially support you at home if we have children. I couldn’t marry somebody who didn’t believe in at-home mothering. And I am done with men who cannot take care of themselves, much less me, or children we might have together. I know I am capable of taking care of myself (and others). I still want to be with somebody who can (and wants) to take care of me.

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