I’ve been thinking about time and energy in relation to love. I think time and energy might equal love. The amount of time I am willing to spend with a person or activity should be directly proportionate to the amount of love I feel towards that person or activity. Growing into a life that fits better has to do with doing what I want to be doing, without waiting for time for that other something. (Lennnon’s cliche: life’s what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.)

For instance, it’s really time to stop being a public school teacher, because when ever I introduce myself as a teacher to somebody, I contradict it in my head (I’m not really teacher! It’s just an in-between job!) Not that I am a teacher this year, but that’s what I say I do, because nobody really understands what an English Language Arts coach does, and I am still working for a public school district.

I am also starting to understand how people are able to shoulder bigger and bigger responsibilities – or how they get be a top dog. In a school district teachers are perceived or see themselves as completely separate from administration, but then teachers are the ones who become administrators, and transform into authority figures at the district office. Probably every admin person in this district was a classroom teacher at some point, and yet they are perceived and treated as something other, something against teachers. And strangely, being in a position of authority does not necessarily mean you have skills – but rather that you somehow impressed upon somebody with even more authority that you can serve some useful purpose. This seems ironic to me – doctors become doctors without people skills. Teachers become teachers without communication skills. Administrators become administrators without diplomacy skills.

On the other hand, with enough time and energy, you can become good (excellent even) at almost anything. I think though, that the time and energy have to be focused. I think it might be why it seems to kids that grown-ups do things so well. It really takes practice to do anything well (or to learn to do it in the first place).

This is a long-winded way of explaining my dad’s theory that any sport, instrument, or language can be decently mastered in five years. I’ve watched him do it successfully with tennis and golf (less so with the trumpet and Spanish…) It’s also my way of understanding how I feel like I’ve entered into this new stage of my adult life where I can see how much my friends and peers have accomplished – the sheer amount of experience and decision-making power that we have accumulated – If I have a question about almost anything, I feel like I know an expert I can ask…

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