This is Why

I sometimes wonder if it’s worth all the effort I put into giving my stuff away – I mean, why not just hand everything over to the Salvation Army? Why bother making a zillion little piles and sending off packages to friends in other countries?

Click on the pic to go to Tiffs blog.

Click on the pic to go to Tiff's blog.

This picture my friend Tiff sent me shows me exactly why it’s worth putting things aside for people I think will appreciate our old things. This adorable picture is of Clara and Pippa wearing two outfits that Bella designed and we had tailor-made in Bangkok when she was nine. And two of her beloved beanie babies. I LOVE seeing friends (and strangers) enjoy things that we no longer need. Much much pleasure!

And on that same note, a freecycle update: a month or so ago I gave away two sheepskin carseat covers on freecycle. The man who picked them up was very appreciative and asked me to let him know if I ever needed help loading or moving anything. This week I posted my first “Wanted” ad on freecycle for patio furniture and immediately got an offer for two great patio chairs. They turned out to be too big for our compact sedans, so the guy who got my sheepskin seat covers is picking them up and delivering them to our house today. Free and FREE!

These are the chairs that should be arriving any minute...

These are the chairs that should be arriving any minute...

Posted in organization | Leave a comment

How diaper-free is Christian? Not very…

So, while I am very excited to be involved in elimination communication, I have not stopped using diapers.

I still miss so many pees that I don’t feel confident enough to let him go about nudie. But we did have a day  (only one day) last week where I only had two wet diapers the entire day. The rest of the day, I just peed Christian and put him back in the dry (cloth) diaper.

Also, it is difficult to pee Christian while we are driving somewhere or when he is sleeping. He has, though, gone pee several times at my friend’s house and once in the bathroom at the grocery store – so I know that he’s okay with slightly different peeing circumstances. We are broadening our horizons slowly. He still doesn’t pee with his dad; but I think that’s simply because he finds his dad so amusing that he’s distracted.

As far as sleeping goes, I sometimes am able to catch the first pee after a nap IF I get him as soon as he is stirring. If I wait for him to kick up a fuss, like when I want to finish chopping onions in the kitchen, then I always end up catching a wet diaper. The bigger problem has been night-time pees. When he stirs in his sleep I am reasonably sure he wants to pee, but bringing him to the bathroom makes him MAD because he doesn’t want to wake up. It’s a catch 22, because wet diapers make him mad/unhappy also and usually wake him up as well.

I thought I could use his potty and just bring it up to the bed and hold the potty in between my legs, so that he could stay relatively asleep and pee, but then I discovered that he wouldn’t pee in his potty! The picture in my last post was a little misleading, because Christian usually pees with me holding him suspended over the bathroom sink, not in his hot pink potty. I think that the newness of the potty, and perhaps the feel of the cold plastic on his thighs was throwing him off. In any case, in the last couple days he has begun peeing in the potty as well as in the sink – but only when the potty is right next to the sink and he can see himself in the mirror. When he is completely comfortable with that set-up, I am going to try and move the potty down by the bed. Luckily there’s a mirror there too.

I don’t think the mirror is important per se, but Christian is used to giggling at the baby in the mirror. It also helps me see whether he’s peeing or not. If you can believe it, I can be holding him directly in front of me and still not notice when he pees, especially if i don’t have a mirror in front of me.

The most interesting development of this elimination communication is a heightened bond with Christian. I am starting to have a much better intuitive sense when he needs to go and I am more aware of how is is struggling to communicate with me all the time. Also, I now feel that it is my responsibility to respond to him when he needs to pee or poo – otherwise he becomes very unhappy. I can’t ignore any fussing! Since he is starting to understand that he can eliminate in a place other than his diaper, I now feel badly when he fusses, fusses and then releases into his diaper, because I haven’t reacted quickly enough. I think it’s frustrating for him – frustration in a general baby way of understanding, not that I think he’s getting mad at me in particular.

We are starting to be more in tune with eachother. Perhaps there is a diaper-free future for us; it’s a thrilling possibility.

(Darn! He just woke up with a wet diaper because I was trying to publish this post before tending to him. Usually I pee him when he has a wet diaper just because it’s easy and he’s already out of his diaper. Often I find that he’s willing to release more pee to empty his bladder that way. Well, just now I figured that he’d just gone, so I was nursing him back to sleep diaperless but with a diaper on my lap – and he peed on me! Sheesh. I need to just stick to listening to him right away and giving him lots of pee opportunities. Btw, that was only the second time Christian’s peed on me since we’ve started elimination communication a couple weeks ago.)

Posted in elimination communication | 2 Comments

Always a Grin for Dad

Christian’s begun teething, but still, overall, he’s a jolly baby.

Posted in Christian Holden | Leave a comment

I Caught a Pee!

My mind is not frequently blown, but with this new baby I have been introduced to a concept that I had never ever considered for myself before.

That is, the possibility of raising a diaper-free baby.

That’s right. NO DIAPERS.

Granted, giving up diapers entirely is still a remote goal, but even working towards that goal is something I had never encountered, much less considered for myself and my baby. What will these crazy kids think of next? (Co-sleeping, long-term breastfeeding, baby carrying – these are all in fashion now!)

I mean, there are support groups for diaper-free parenting! And I’d never heard of such a thing until just a couple months ago.

The theory goes like this: millions of mothers in hundreds of cultures around the world do not use diapers for their infants and babies. When their baby needs relieve himself they simply hold the baby away from themselves or over a “potty place.” And if they can do it, why couldn’t I? Or any other Western mother?

Evidently, the bladder, even in an infant, does not simply fill up to the brim and then release, but rather, the baby, like a child or adult, feels pressure when the bladder is about half full and must actively release the pee. A baby may not be intellectually conscious of when he is releasing, but his body knows – typically babies squirm and are slightly uncomfortable before releasing. This, in other cultures, gives the mother or caregiver, time to hold the baby away from her body or over a potty.

In Western culture, where this age-old concept is gaining popularity, raising a diaper-free baby is also called “Elimination Communication” or “Natural Infant Hygiene.” The latter term comes from a book on the subject (endorsed by La Leche League) called Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Igrid Bauer. Bauer is a Canadian mother who, after observing diaper-free babies in other countries, began experimenting for herself, and then was bombarded with so many questions from her friends and relatives that she made a full-fledged study of the entire situation – this book is the result. And while the book is good, it it not just a how-to book as much as a history of diapering and a treatise about the benefits of Natural Infant Hygiene. I really just wanted the how-to part, so I skimmed through most of the book. I’ll have to say this though; in this book there are some of the most adorable pictures of babies (peeing) that I have ever seen -  such looks of concentration! Such happy grins!

And understandably so, because a mother practicing elimination communication with her baby is nearly always a mother who is also practicing attachment parenting: the baby is always in-arms.

I decided to give it a tentative go.

But despite my friend Nathen’s kind words (Jeannie! If anybody can do it, you can do it!), I just could not, could not catch a pee.

I would leave Christian diaper-less, propped up by pillows, sitting on a incontinence pad right next to me while I unpacked boxes on the bed. I was watching for any signal that he needed to pee so I could rush him to the sink or to his potty. Invariably I would look up and find the incontinence pad wet – but I would never catch him before he had to pee; I couldn’t even catch him while he was peeing. I swear it was like he was peeing in secret on purpose. After several days without catching a single pee I started to get discouraged.

Then I got to the part in Bauer’s book where she finally explained a few simple commonsense techniques, which, not surprisingly, are pretty similar to puppy training:

  • Timing patterns and rhythms
  • Baby’s signals and body language
  • Intuition
  • Cueing the baby

Bingo! I had been missing the very obvious: the easiest pee to predict and catch is the first pee of the day – the morning pee! Then also, it made sense to “pee the baby” after every nap, during every diaper and clothing change, and about 15 minutes after nursing. I began to catch pees like crazy. It was all very exciting. I even started “catching” poos.

I would simply hold him under his thighs in a squatting position with his back against my abdomen above the sink and make a hissing sound – that’s our cuing sound – and like magic, pee would appear in a teeny little fountain.

I have so much more to say on the topic, but I hear the baby waking. I’m sure he needs to pee. I am still using diapers as a safety measure because I miss LOTS of pees – but amazingly Christian has control enough for me to unbutton his onesie, take off his diaper, and bring him to the bathroom, before he pees. What a patient sweetie he is.

Posted in babies, elimination communication, modernday hippiness | 2 Comments

Birthday Meal

I am happy to report that we are able to have incredibly decadent meals and still stay within our grocery budget. For Chad’s birthday (I never really finished that post…) I made Basil Stuffed Sea Scallops and Gai Lan (Chinese Brocolli) with Oyster Sauce and rice.

The sea scallops were $10 for a 1  1/2 pound at Trader Joe’s. And after perusing the recipe (Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything), I decided that it would be just as delicious if I used my fresh pesto instead of whipping up another basil paste. So after defrosting the scallops, rinsing them and patting them dry, I simply made a long slice through each one and patted in 1/2 teaspoon of my pesto. Then I seared them in my cast iron pan at high heat with a little grapeseed oil. I’d give you the original recipe, but I’ve already returned that book to the library (I get pressure from my librarian husband to be a good library patron…) These turned out delicious! Although, I love scallops and I think it might be hard to make them taste bad.

And the greens were just as easy. I wokked the leaves of two bunches of Chinese brocolli, put them aside and then wokked the stems for a bit longer. I arranged them on a nice platter and poured some oyster sauce over it all. That easy.

And of course we had already been eating homemade carrot cake for the last couple days, since I’d made one for my bunco group and another to bring into Chad’s work.

Speaking of delicious food during Chad’s birthday week – we had some great shrimp enchilades at Baja Fish Taco with Chad’s parents. Then on Chad’s birth day we went back (because it was soooo good), to discover that you get a FREE taco combination on your birthday. The blackened fish tacos there are good, but I cannot get enough of their shrimp enchilades. Just the right amount of spiciness.

Posted in recipes | Leave a comment

137 Words on Jesse Bercowetz

The Pale Memory of Man, 2008

The Pale Memory of Man, 2008

Having heard that the editor of ArtScene received three capsules on the Bercowetz show at The Happy Lion, I think it’s unlikely that I will get the full $30 for my capsule. I’ll probably get the $20 for a combined capsule, which is a sight better than the $5 kill fee.

Here’s my ten cents on the guy:

For a New Yorker, Jesse Bercowetz skewers his first Los Angeles solo show with a knowing local know-how. The dominating installation, The Pale Memory of Man, looks alternately like a derelict derrick and a monstrous mobile – referring at once to the many oil derricks throughout LA county and to the ever-present aliens (and their spawn) of the movie industry. Encrusted with black tar-like splatters, the wooden construction not only reaches outwards with four giant claws, but also pierces the ceiling with a narrowing ladder shape that begins to resemble a neck. The intensity of the piece’s presence is somewhat offset by dangling mobiles overhead, which allow the viewer to approach with ducked heads, only to be thwarted by the mess of broken bottles covering the platform base and the scythe shapes jutting out all over the place.

Posted in art | Leave a comment

Train Trip to LA

Taking the train makes me feel like Im traveling...

Taking the train makes me feel like I'm traveling...

When Chad told me that seventeen people (25 now) had been killed in a train crash in Pasadena Friday night, we almost pulled the plug on our train-to-LA adventure for Saturday; but then using the logic that lightening doesn’t hit the same place twice (or a bomb land in the same place twice – as in All’s Quiet on the Western Front, which Bella is reading for school), we decided that we were probably safe. Yes, so the day after that terrible crash, Chad, Christian, and I blithely hopped on a train in Irvine to LA Union Station.

It was our first time ever to use public transportation to get up to LA and it was simpler than we had imagined. And at $12.75/ person round trip it was even cost effective with gas prices what they are. (Weekend prices are 25% less than the commuter fares on the weekdays.) The train was comfortable and the view was actually fascinating – you see the backside of Los Angeles, as it were – you pass oil derricks bobbing up and down in the middle of parking lots, abandoned airforce bases, and lots of traditional smaller suburban homes.

The best part was that I could hold Christian in my arms the entire way and nurse him whenever he wanted. Getting to LA these days has been difficult because Christian has become extremely anti-car. I can hardly blame him, I mean, from his perspective, he’s strapped into a seat and then abandoned by his mother for an indefinite amount of time. I’d cry too. In any case, it’s making even the quick run to pick up Bella and her friend from school every day a trip of misery. Christian always finishes the trip hiccuping desperate sobs and with dampness all along his teeny eyelashes. Poor guy.

So, the train works perfectly for us.

The only confusing part is that Amtrak and Metrolink run on the same track and we got on the wrong train at first – well, and the second time too. First we got on a train going to Riverside, not LA, and so we got off in Orange (along with a half dozen other people who had made the same mistake) and then we all got on the next train, which turned out to be an Amtrak train not a Metrolink. Strangely the Amtrak train is not as nice (as clean) as the Metrolink, but the fares are more?? In any case, the conductor came through and told us not to worry about it.

more palm trees than people using the public transport.

So SoCal: more palm trees than people using the public transport.

It is too bad that there aren’t more trains running this route; only two or three trains to LA in the morning (7:10, 8:29, 10:37) and just a couple in the evening too (4:30, 8:45), so you have to plan your day carefully. And we could have caught the train from Laguna Niguel, but for the extra 4-5 bucks it was going to cost, it was just as easy to leave from the larger Irvine station where there is a brand new parking structure.

We arrived early at the station (nothing was open) and spent some time on the three-story high overpass. The station was adjacent to an abandoned military base and some fields, which were crawling with rabbits and ground squirrels. We were so high up they didn’t even know they were being watched – they were all so active and going about their business so normally, I felt like we were watching the nature channel.

We got to LA Union Station in very short order and discovered that it was free to take the subway (the metro) in any direction. We went to Chinatown first (the station there is a pagoda!) only to realize that none of the galleries were going to be open before noon. We briefly considered going for dim sum, but weren’t hungry enough to make it worthwhile, so we headed on foot to downtown. We just kept the library tower in view and headed south.

Walking in Los Angeles is not like walking in any other city I’ve been to – in many respects LA is pedestrian un-friendly. Which means that cars dominate the city and you get lots of highway views like this.  Pedestrians are also generally confined to specific areas of LA – so Chad, Christian, and I looked like complete tourists crossing from Chinatown to downtown on foot. But on foot you get to see things I’ve rarely ever seen close up. Most of the buildings in downtown LA I’ve only seen as I’ve whizzed by in a car. In any case, I don’t mind being a tourist in my own town. It makes me see everything fresh, like I’m visiting.

LAs City Hall

LA's City Hall

And while every Chinatown I’ve ever visited has been crowded and cramped – LA’s Chinatown is somehow dwarfed by the wide streets that run through it. You can still get snappers (those tiny firecrackers that are great for throwing at stray dogs when you’re jogging) for 5 packs/ $1.25.

We got to several galleries downtown before we got hungry enough to turn around and head up to Phillipe’s on Alameda near Union Station. We got there right at the end of their lunch hour rush – but their famous French Dip was worth the wait. Don’t be intimidated by the crowded front – there is actually plenty of seating room upstairs and around the back. Chad got the regular French Dip with Jack cheese, I got the pork with Swiss ($5.65 each), with coleslaw and potato salad ($1.10 each), and lemonade and iced tea to drink. DELICIOUS! Great atmosphere too, with sawdust on the floors and short wooden stools along great long picnic tables running the width of the rooms.

Well, I didn’t get to writing about the art this post, but perhaps my blurb about Jesse Bercowetz will make it into the October ArtScene. He was the only one I ended up writing about after visiting about a dozen galleries that day.

Posted in art, los angeles | Leave a comment

Chad's Birthday Week

Alpacca - shaved, I guess because of the heat.
Alpacca – shaved, I guess because of the heat.

We’re just finishing up Chad’s birthday week – although it might last through the weekend, since we are taking the train up into LA tomorrow for art, French dip at Phillipe’s, and a good explore.

We kicked off the celebrations with a day at Irvine Regional Park, where appropriately the ranger waved us through without making us pay. We hiked for most of the morning, but it turned out that Chad had an ulterior motive for picking this particular park – he wanted to take Christian to the zoo! So, for two bucks, that’s what we did. Chad carried Christian around and showed him the animals, like the ocelot.

Ocelot
Ocelot
Posted in says chad | Leave a comment

Very clean. Very fast. Very easy.

I know I often gush about new books I’ve found – but be advised (that yes! I’m enthusiastic!) that it’s because I don’t bother much with critiquing books that I didn’t like. Who has the time? and besides, by the time a book makes it to the top of my “To Read” it’s usually been recommended to me by not one, but two or three friends I trust. The same goes for movies, websites, stores, etc… I put a lot of value in word-of-mouth, even though it generally takes a few mentions for the name to stick.

So, the book that everybody should run out and buy? The one that everybody I know is getting for Christmas?

Click on the book to buy a copy at amazon.

Click on the book to buy a copy at amazon.

It would be a small book that was published almost 25 years ago called Speed Cleaning by Jeff Campbell and the Clean Team. (Thank you Nathen for sending me this book.)

The method of cleaning clearly outlined in this book was developed by a professional cleaning service in San Fransisco called The Clean Team – so every tool, procedure, and product has been time-tested and true. The Clean Team cleans over 10,000 houses a year, and not surprisingly, they have developed an incredibly efficient cleaning system. Campbell boasts that a team of three can clean a full house (3B, 2B), top to bottom, in 42 minutes flat. A standard bathroom can be cleaned in 18 minutes by one person.

It also means that by reading this book, you can train yourself to as efficient and speedy and effective as a professional house cleaner. See, I thought for sure, that a house cleaned that quickly could not be that clean; but once you read through the book, you see clearly that the house will be cleaner than when you normally clean it (for me at least…) and in much less time.

Interestingly, Campbell is so confident about his methods that from the start he unequivocably states that he is the Boss – and if you want his results, you must clean HIS WAY.

Basically, the cleaning starts with the proper tools – which are stored in both a work apron (worn while cleaning) and a carryall caddy. There is nothing complicated about the tools – I already have everything, except an ostrich feather duster (ordered it today) and two dozen cleaning cloths (used white cloth napkins are best, diapers are second best – bought those this week too).

In a nutshell, you move around a room, always cleaning from top to bottom, and never back-tracking. The book is divided into three main sections, intended for the three members of the cleaning team: the kitchen, the bathroom, and the dusting.

To show how standard his cleaning toolkit is, I’ll list all the products and tools here – but without explanation. Campbell does a thorough job justifying every product and tool in the book.

  • Work apron
  • Toothbrush
  • Razor-blade holder
  • Scraper
  • Carryall tray
  • Red juice (strong cleaning formula, like 409)
  • Blue juice (like Windex)
  • Bleach
  • Spray bottles (3)
  • Tile juice (in a squirt bottle)
  • Feather duster
  • Cleaning cloths
  • Pump-spray furniture polish
  • Furniture polishing cloth
  • Powdered cleanser
  • One-pint plastic container
  • Whisk broom
  • 50-foot extension cord on a cord caddy
  • Toilet brush
  • Tile brush
  • White scrub pad/sponge
  • Green scrub pad/sponge
  • Mop (We’ve got Scooba!)
  • Floor cleaner/polisher
  • Ammonia
  • Oven cleaner
  • Rubber gloves
  • Vaccuum cleaner – canister type.
  • Vaccuum cleaner – portable
  • Miscellaneous tools: pliers, phillips and regular screwdriver, and a spare fanbelt for the canister vac.

P.S. I’m buying the feather duster at this site. I don’t know if it’s any good or not, but it’s ostrich feathers for $15 and free shipping.

Posted in books, cleaning tips | 3 Comments

Did you ever torture a spider?

I’d like to say I haven’t, but I can’t be a hundred percent positive that I never pulled a leg off a daddy-long legs. But I definitely see the appeal in playing with a spider; as an oldest sibling I have tendencies torwards untorwardly amounts of poking, teasing, and playing with people and creatures smaller than myself. (As Bella says, Mom, you just think kids like you – most kids think you’re too intense and in their face.)

Now in cyberspace, you can safely explore your spider torture boundaries without harming a living insect. This spider is eerily real – freakily so.

Check it out here.

Posted in Jeannie's Stamp of Approval | Leave a comment