the brink of change

Well, I guess the fact that I’m up at 1:30 in the morning speaks for itself; I’m busier than usual these days. It never fails when I have something to procrastinate for – the degree of business is directly proportional to the importance of the task. In this case, I have a master’s thesis to write, so I decide to buy my first house, apply for a new job, start a blog, start a new diet and exercise regime, and plan a birthday BBQ for myself. How would I get anything done without the impetus of procrastination?

Turning 38 is not so bad. I know myself well enough to know what I want (a birthday party with carrot cake with my friends in the National Park) and I’m getting less and less afraid of saying what I think. I’m becoming a crochety old woman who doesn’t care what other people think so long as I get my way.

I have two friends coming in from NYC for my BBQ. It’s so much fun to have friends visit. These days I have a hard time remembering what I like to do – and an even harder time remembering what I was going to be when I grew up. The terrifying thought occurs to me that I don’t think I ever made a conclusive decision on that one. Oh! I just remembered, I like to cook too, particularly for other people. I don’t want to be a cook though, or a masseuse.

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