El Orfanato

Posted on May 19, 2008 by jeannie

I trust my husband, I do.

But when we start watching a film that is prefaced by a half dozen horror previews, my faith starts to quaver. I turned to him and said, “This isn’t a horror movie is it?” He knows full well that I do not like to be scared, horrified OR tickled. But Chad immediately brought up two points that settled me down: This movie was done (produced?) by Guillermo del Toro (who directed Pan’s Labyrinth, which I liked immensely) and it got a 7.8 rating on IMDb. Heck, I’d watch Two Girls, One Cup, if it got that high of ranking on IMDb (just kidding – for those of you who got that gross reference…)

Which means, I’m willing to swallow a little creepiness if it’s artfully done in Spanish.

And yes, although there was a scary image of a child wearing a scarecrow mask – it was a genuinely necessary part of the narrative. El Orfanato or The Orphanage is definitely a thriller and on the scary side, but the main focus of the  movie is how far a mother will go to to find a child she has lost.

The main  character, Laura, is exceedingly well-acted by Belen Rueda. She returns with her husband and son to the orphanage where she once lived before she was adopted, to start a small group home for disabled children. But before she is able to do this, her son becomes entangled in a relationship with the ghost of one of the orphans and disappears. The rest of the story plays out very suspensefully as Laura has to unravel what happened in the past shortly after she was adopted. The suspense is built mainly by absence rather than the explicitly horrifying  as is typical in American flicks of the same nature – the only gratuitous gore is when Benigna (a woman who is hanging around the orphanage) gets hit by a truck. Cover your eyes, it’s not worth it to see her chin hanging off her face.

But, in all, it was an intense way to spend an hour or two of my life. I give this movie an A-.

Posted in movies | 2 Comments

Sleep Saturation

Posted on May 18, 2008 by jeannie

At the advice of my good friend Darlene (mother of five), I’ve elected to not do things like see a friend’s gig in Huntington Beach (that didn’t start until 11 pm), and I’ve started concentrating on getting as much sleep as possible. This has not been so hard considering the climbing heat which has been making us all lethargic anyway.

As of this coming Tuesday I am officially considered “term” and the baby can come at any time.

We have had a flurry of activity around the house though, cleaning and what not. Getting ready for friends and family flying in over the next couple weeks – for my birthday and the birth.

Karen Baker, my midwife, and her assistant, also a Karen, came this past Friday for their home visit. They spent almost three hours familiarizing themselves with our house and layout, going over the birth kit, over all the main parts of labor, and all sorts of possible contingencies. Our homework this week is to determine which hospital we would want to go to, in case of medical transport, and also where the paramedics would take us if we dialed 911.

While most women would wait for the 3-1-1 cue (contractions three minutes apart, lasting for one minute, for one hour) before going to the hospital, I have been directed to call Karen in the event of any regularity in my contractions.

Something cool that Karen had Chad and I do, was to spend three minutes sketching out on paper, our vision of how we imagine the birth will be. I’d read about this technique in Pam England’s book, Birthing from Within, so I was surprised, but familiar with technique. Chad, on the other hand, was completely taken back to be put on the spot and immediately came over to sit and draw by me – as if he thought he’d be able to look over my shoulder! fat chance! Interestingly, we both drew ourselves in the bathroom. In Chad’s picture, he’s behind me, supporting me, and I’m leaning against the wall. Here’s mine; we’re in the shower.

And since people keep asking, the only things we need now are receiving blankets, another dozen laundry service quality cloth diapers, one box of disposable newborn diapers (since meconium can be so staining) and flushable diaper liners. Yesterday I went to the drugstore and spent my first $8.06 on baby supplies: a box of cottonballs and a shower curtain (to protect the bed, under the sheets). Besides that I haven’t spent a penny on baby things – except for the Bradley class and co-payments for insurance.

Thank you for your generosity everyone!

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Going Against the Current in OC

Posted on May 16, 2008 by jeannie

We are house hunting for the third summer in a row, and while I LOVE seeing the insides of homes, it is a little wearying.

We have been happy in our 3B+den/3B, but our lease is up July 1 and Chad’s brother is going his separate way. We would like to take this opportunity to reduce our rent, but it’s a double whammy to move into a 2B/2B and pay less than what we pay now. Right now we we’re paying $1750 for our portion of a 1800 square foot place and we’re looking for a $1600 place, which will likely be under 1000 square feet.

That’s quite a bit of down-sizing.

So we’ve eye-balling furniture and starting to think about getting rid of things. Although honestly, nothing’s been rid of yet. Giant-sized corner desk, anyone?

We’ve been considering this move since before Christmas, so emotionally I think I’ve adjusted – and I like the idea of moving into a more affordable place and worrying less about making money. My current boss wants me to continue working from home, but we’ll see how that works out. My friends keep reminding me how busy a baby makes you – honestly, I can hardly remember. really? I won’t be able to squeeze in 20 hours of work time a week at home?

Ideally, we’d like to settle down for three years while Bella finishes up high school and then make a move towards LA, possibly in the Pasadena area.

Bella on the other hand has raged and raged against the move. It is a third summer in a row to have to spend packing and unpacking, but the bigger story I suspect is that moving into an apartment and seeming “poor” is rubbing her teenage fur the wrong way. Ah well.

But Chad and I are reluctant to move as well – especially considering that the lease is up three weeks after the baby is due – so we have done some creative brainstorming. Chad and I have even entertained the option of inviting one of Bella’s Yucca friends to move out here, rent Chad’s brother’s room, and live with us next year to go to school. Probably luckily for all of us, that idea didn’t pan out.

It’s hard for me to squeeze into a smaller place, too, mentally and physically. And to constantly explain to people that yes, it actually makes sense to move into a smaller place rather than a larger one with a baby on the way. That no, we will not have a nursery, and that no, we have not picked a “theme” or colors. (Okay, I made up a theme and colors up to satisfy Chad’s colleagues at work: forest colors and insects.) I know that the norm is to move into bigger and bigger places… that norm is especially deafening here in south Orange county.

On the upside, I think we might have found the place. You can see the place here. We saw this super clean condo last weekend and have been mulling it over ever since. Last night we walked Giselle over, because the owners hadn’t wanted any pets, but they did see, love, and OK Giselle – seeing that she’s HARDLY a dog at 3.5 pounds. So now the only downside is that we had thought about extending our lease until August 1 to give us a little time to adjust after the baby is born – but they really want a July 1 move-in. I suppose that’s not such a big deal.

But the thought of finalizing: signing a year’s lease more than an month in advance, is still making me nervous. I do like the stainless steel appliances and the pergo (wood) floors…

Posted in house hunting, moving | 3 Comments

I aim to do some misbehavin'

Posted on May 14, 2008 by jeannie

Just finished another whirlwind tour of a TV series, which seems to be the thing to do these days. The show is called Firefly and it aired for just one season in 2002. I’ve just now discovered on IMDb that it was (is) actually pretty popular according to the user voting scale: a 9.5 out of 10.0 at this writing. That’s unheard of! Most of the time I consider any movie rating over a “7” to be probably worth watching.

Watching Firefly has cushioned the blow of catching up to this season’s Battlestar Galactica (another much-loved show that ranks above “9” on IMDb). I hate catching up to shows I’ve been watching on DVD. I know I’ve said this before, but the feeling is so apt that it bears repeating. I feel like I’m on a moving sidewalk and I’ve suddenly hit the end. You’re gliding along and suddenly the world slows painfully down. The waiting from week to week to watch a new episode diminishes the pleasure of watching a series for me – I like them in big breathless gulpfuls.

Firefly was originally recommended to me by George Bures Miller, one of the artists I wrote my master’s thesis about – at the time, he said that if I loved Deadwood that I would love Firefly – that it was about cowboys in space.

I watched the first episode and was completely turned off by the opening cheesy futuristic war scene. Plus I thought the main character, Captain Malcolm “Mal” Reynolds had a weak face: not quite a Michael J. Fox or a Jason Bateman. That was almost two years ago. Somewhere along the way though, Chad found the time to watch the entire series and even the climatic movie, Serenity (8.0/10.0 IMDb), based on the series; and trusty filter that he is – he sat me down and we started the series again from the beginning.

In retrospect I would put Rome and Deadwood in the same category before Firefly and Deadwood. And even though Firefly mostly takes place on a spaceship 500 years from now with a renegade captain, it’s not really in the same category as Battlestar. There is the same emphasis on character – but the feeling of the show is much lighter and more humorous. Firefly isn’t a sitcom, but I might say it falls somewhere between the silliness of the British space com, Red Dwarf (ran in Britain from 1988-1999, IMDb 9.1/10.0), and the epic seriousness of Battlestar. Definitely worth a watch if you’re in the market for a new screen addiction.

(The title is a quote by Mal in the movie Serenity, which we polished off tonight. The screenwriters do an interesting thing with antiquating the language to make it seem futuristic.)

Posted in movies, t.v. | 2 Comments

A Small Beginning

Posted on May 11, 2008 by jeannie

So my first art writing gig goes like this: The art publication emails the writers a list of gallery and museum shows near the first of the month. I take a look at the list, which is divided into categories by area, and establish which shows I want to see. Since the next publication comes out for June, the shows have to be showing from now until then, and has to not have been already written about. Also, the blurbs (or “capsules”) are for the “Continuing and Recommended” section, so it has to be a show I’d recommend, which narrows the list considerably. Also, about half the shows on the list opened this weekend, and the deadline is Tuesday – leaving, really, only attendance at the Saturday night art openings and Tuesday day for art-viewing, since most galleries are closed on Sundays and Mondays.

I chewed on my options and decided to take what appeared to be reasonably-sized chuck of galleries for my first time. I picked seven galleries in the West Hollywood/Beverly Hills area, since I’m already familiar with most of the galleries there, plus one in Culver City, and plotted a course for the day. I choose Sandroni.Rey, Marc Selwyn, Solway Jones, Couturier, Stephen Cohen, DF2 Gallery, Louis Stern and Gagosian Gallery, in that order.

Now eight galleries may not seem like very many – or at least, it didn’t to me – but then again I didn’t factor in that once I was in the neighborhood, I wouldn’t be able to resist popping into other galleries, and neither did I think about the sheer exhaustion factor of finding parking in LA eight times in one day. I plotted the location of each of the galleries at my own Google map here, so you can see the kind of ground I covered.

For what? Well, for the pleasure of seeing all that art in one day, I guess, although, it was a different experience to see art by somebody else’s list.

And to write a 50-100 word capsule, for which I would paid $30 IF I was the first person to turn it in, $20 if mine is combined with somebody else’s, and $5 kill fee if it’s not used at all. And did I mention – no byline?

Of all of what I saw – I felt comfortable recommending only two of them: Gregory Crewdson at Gagosian and Lee Mullican at Marc Selwyn.

So this is the first written product of my free-lance art writing career; let’s see how it goes.

Forget the photograph and think high-def plasma screen – Gregory Crewdson explodes the idea of even large-scale photography by pouring movie-style resources (think 30-men crews, fog machines, make-up artists, location scouts) into his lavish, nearly five by seven foot photographs. All the unsettling photographs are part of a series called Beneath the Roses; although the coffee table book is comprehensive and enormous (for a book), it cannot convey the Lynch-ian mood of a girl holding her wet panties, standing ankle-deep in the water just above a concrete dam, behind two neighborhood houses, with the same impact as a photograph as tall as you are (Gagosian Gallery, Beverly Hills).

Posted in art | 2 Comments

The Birth Kit

Posted on May 10, 2008 by jeannie

When I saw the list for the things we needed in the birth kit I thought it would be cheaper and easier to gather them up myself, but Chad convinced me it would be “as cheap” to pay for the kit and not spend our weekend worrying about it. Most everything in the kit is to clean up the inevitable mess and to keep the important parts sterile. The kit list was devised by my midwife Karen Baker, and is sold by a local home business called Mama Rhythms.

I wish I had more gumption to post, but I just don’t. I can’t even conceive of how I hiked 10 miles only ten days ago as it feels like a stretch to walk the pup around the neighborhood block right now.

25 4×4 Gauze Sponges

4 Pairs Sterile Gloves

2 Poly-backed Mattress Protector Sheets

25 Underpads

1 Blunt Scissors

1 Bulb Syringe

2 Cord Clamps

2 Baby Caps

2 Straws (Individually wrapped)

1 Bottle Hydrogen Peroxide

1 Bottle Rubbing Alcohol

2 30-gal Trash Bags

2 Kitchen Trash Bags

1 Gallon Freezer Bag

2 Paper Grocery Bags

1 Paper Towel Roll

1 Large Plastic Bowl

2 Sanitary Briefs

1 Peri Bottle

2 Peri Cold Packs

24 Sanitary Pads

2 Over-sized Sanitary Pads

1 1-dram size After-ease Tincture

6 Relief Towelettes

1 Herbal Cord Care (1/4 oz)

1 Golden Healing Salve (1/4 oz)

1 Disposable Tape Measure

1 Kleenprinter Footprint Pad

1 Special ‘”Born at Home” Certificate with Footprint Space

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Nesting Big Time

Posted on May 8, 2008 by jeannie

On top of looking for a new place to live (my brother-in-law moves out at the end of the lease and we’re looking for a 2B/2B), I am going into high gear with my nesting.

The intellectual side of my brain seems to be shutting down (hence, less thinking, less posts), and my instinctual brain is kicking in (hence, tons of cooking, cleaning, laundry, and otherwise baby prepping). Restless, I can’t stop looking for a place to live and thinking through all the packing and cleaning that remains to be done before the baby is born.

Sunday, Chad and I stopped by at our midwife’s house for a quick prenatal check-in on our way back from Joshua Tree and it suddenly occurred to me that we were not in the least bit prepared for the baby’s arrival and that the baby could be coming at any time. Really. I asked Karen, my midwife, at what point in my pregnancy could I go into labor and still have the baby at home. She said 37 weeks – which is next week for me! So no more big hikes – now the focus is not having the baby for at least another week. Yesterday I spent the entire day in LA seeing lots of art and I had several medium-sized contractions. Braxton Hicks I would still call them, but more intense than they have been.

I’ve got one chicken enchilada casserole already made and a lasagna and bowlful of pesto on their way in terms of filling the freezer for baby’s birthday week.

Most of the baby clothes (I’ve got mountains!) came to me already washed and folded – so now I’m just sorting through the baby shower gifts and getting diapers sorted out. The extra dresser is vacuumed, wiped, and papered, and ready for baby stuff. Now I just need to figure out my organizational principle and get everything in there.

Karen is coming for her first home visit to our house next Friday and we’re supposed to have everything ready by then. I’ve got a laundry basket in the bedroom that I’m using to hold all the supplies I’m gathering. According to Karen, we need:

(1) Birth Kit

(8 ) Receiving blankets

(1-2) Thermometers

(2) Wash cloths, towels, sheets

(1) Heating pad

(1) Package of size 5 disposable diapers (These are supposed to be for me!)

Diapers, diaper wraps, and clothing for the baby

Cotton balls and swabs

(4) Bottles of a sports drink

(2) Bottles of grape juice

Healing disinfectant for the peri-rinse bottle

Food for labor, after the birth, and the week following the birthday

Clothing for me for labor and after the birth

Small “hospital” bag (in case of emergency transport)

List of emergency telephone numbers by the telephone

Which reminds me: I need to make a list of numbers for Chad to call when the labor begins and when the baby is born. He’s not excited about being the caller, so I’m glad his mother made it clear that she doesn’t want to read about the birth.

The baby is sort of overshadowing the fact that I am turning 40 in three short weeks – but that’s okay. I can’t think of anything more engaging and exciting than preparing for a new baby. Having my birthday wrapped up with the baby’s birth is just making everything seem even more momentous. My brother is flying down for the occasion and another friend from the east coast is coming out as well. She happens to be a photographer who specializes in photographing pregnant women. I just can’t help wondering though, will she be taking pictures of a pregnant woman or a new mother?! I wonder if it was like this for my mother – I was her first child and I was born five days after her own birthday.

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Well-showered

Posted on May 5, 2008 by jeannie

I guess it’s not uncommon to have a baby shower within a year of a bridal shower, but for somebody who has studiously avoided such conventions for most of her forty years – I feel like two showers in a year are a lot for one person.

I was just reading an advice column where a woman was complaining about the cost of having been invited to several bridal and baby showers and the audacity of such events to expect all guests to come bearing gifts. I think previous to my own showers, I felt the same way, but I’ve come to see showers as valuable community building support tools. The writer of the column pointed out in a reasonable tone that the term “shower” stemmed from “showering” the guest of honor with gifts, and that if the letter writer were not inclined to give a gift, that she should regretfully decline the invitation.

Now what would be the point of showering somebody with gifts? I never had a baby shower (or any other shower before my bridal shower last year) when Bella was born, so I had no idea what kind of support a shower might give. Back in 1993, I assumed that it was just part of my then-broke life to scratch together all the things I might need for Bella – with parents helping with one or two of the bigger ticket items. I had no idea how much help friends could provide given an appropriate outlet!

People were generous back then with their hand-me-downs and gifts, but yesterday at my baby shower, I was astounded by the generosity, thought, and feeling my friends in Joshua Tree were willing to pour out to me, Chad, and our soon-to-be Jeanniechadling (as my friend Caryn affectionately dubbed the baby).

Yes, much of that support for the baby was shown materially in beautiful and practical gifts of cloth diapers, diaper covers, onesies, soft blankets, a homeopathic kit for babies, a car seat (!!) and much much more – and driving home with Chad last night I felt a weight fall from my shoulders. I hadn’t realized that stress I had been carrying about the potential financial burden of a new baby had been so heavy. Our baby will have now have lots of very adorable new (!) things to wear – and I won’t have fret about pulling together enough cloth diapers and covers. And I won’t have to put the car seat on the credit card! A baby shower gives people an open avenue to gather together to send new parents off on a potentially expensive odyssey with some of the things they might need. And things they don’t need but are very nice to have too.

Much more than the gifts, however, I realized that these people were in my corner. These are the people who will grow up knowing and being invested in this baby. They were rooting for me and thinking about me and very excited for the baby to come. We were celebrating the pregnancy and creating a a little stir to make room in the world for the new person coming. And that kind of support gives me incredible buoyancy.

Thank you dear friends.

I look forward to my next invitation to a shower, so I can go with with this new appreciation of what a powerful support I can be to a new mom or bride.

I only wish that I had a few more of the delicious carrot cake cupcakes that Maya made…(and I think that by the end of the day I had eaten five servings of Darlene’s vegan lasagna – and that’s on top of all the quiche and cookies I ate!)

Posted in pregnancy | 5 Comments

Free Pedometer

Posted on May 3, 2008 by jeannie

Chad just found a very handy webtool for all of us Luddite walkers, hikers, bikers and runners who have never found the time or energy to actually buy a pedometer (but still wonder how far we’ve gone).

This site, called Gmaps Pedometer, maps out your entire route and not only tells you how far you’ve gone, but also how many calories you’ve burned. And according to the map, this service is available as far north as Calgary and in parts of northern Mexico and Cuba.

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More Mumbo Jumbo

Posted on May 1, 2008 by jeannie

I also find it amusing that people seem to have the impression that I’m so healthy – when in fact I know many, many people who are far healthier than I. It actually seems to me like most of my friends are healthier eaters than I. For instance, I had a bag of Lay’s potato chips with my sandwich today at lunch and Chad and I plan to eat at Fatburger for lunch tomorrow. I infrequently get my recommended two daily servings of dark leafy greens.

I only just barely believe in the power of herbal medicines. I will take cranactin as a prophylactic against urinary tract infections, but I stopped taking echinecea years ago. Sleep is the best preventive against sickness I’ve found.

But Jenny Q’s herbal teas has made a believer out of me again.

A few weeks ago I was drinking a lot of Jenny Q’s herbal tea mix called UNPLUGGED – I wrote about it when I was drinking it during my master’s thesis writing. I’ve heard that she’s sold her tea business – but the tea is still available in Joshua Tree (try Crossroads). While drinking the tea, I noticed that my libido increased. Ahem. I mean dramatically increased. To the point where my husband was protesting, “I’m not a machine!” and “We’ve got to give it a rest!” I made no connection to the tea, and chalked it up to my crazy pregnancy hormones.

Then more recently I was reading an article in the New Yorker – did you see it? It was about the guy who started the chocolate company Dagoba. There was a magnificent description of how he likens the taste sensation of chocolate to the outline of a woman’s body that I was going to use as quote (but never did) and then there was a bit where he talked about his Eros Elixir. An elixir that he tried in his punch at a party once; a party where his guests ended up having sex on his sofa in his living room while the party was still going on.

And I remembered that my food coop group in Joshua Tree had once purchased an Eros Elixir from Dagoba. I ran upstairs and rummaged through the medicine cabinet, thinking that I would spike Chad’s drinks and meals with it. I found it and out of curiosity checked the ingredients. The main ingredient seemed to be Damiana.

Damiana? Where had I seen that before? I went running back down the stairs to the kitchen and sure enough – one of the main ingredients of the Unplugged tea is also Damiana.

Well, Chad says it’s all mumbo jumbo – but I assure you that it’s the first time in the six years we’ve been together that he’s ever complained about having too much sex.

Do you need some? I can pick some up for you as I’ll be in Joshua Tree this weekend!

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