Four Ways to be Closer to Your Siblings

Posted on October 10, 2010 by jeannie

I’m pleasantly working my way through a stack of Real Simple magazine back issues. Let me know if you would like me to pass them on to you next.

I enjoyed family-relationship expert Jane Isay’s “10 ways to be closer to your siblings” from the May 2010 issue. She is the author of Walking on Eggshells and Mom Still Likes You Best: The Unfinished Business Between Siblings. She offers sensible advice with tongue-in-cheek humor. I decided to post about this column when I read this line: “Avoid hot-button topics (politics, religion, high-fructose corn syrup).”

Here’s a sample of her advice:

1. Childhood is like Vegas: Let what happened there stay there. Don’t guilt yourself over the mind games you played on your brother, and stop accusing your sister of stealing the sweater you bought in Florence, circa 1992. Make a conscious effort to forgive these childhood misdeeds and they’ll soon be water under the Ponte Vecchio.
3. Stop being the family mole. Ever-shifting alliances, surreptitious confabs, stealth reconnaissance – you’d think we were talking about The Bourne Identity and not those other people born to your mother. Sibling relationships are often defined by behind-the-back gossiping, whether that means secretly slamming one sib to the other or listening greedily as your parents decry your brother’s latest over-the-top electronics purchase. As expected all this duplicitous chatter erodes honesty and makes it nearly impossible for you to be as close-knit with your clan as you would like. So cut it out. And if you’re finding it difficult to tear yourself away from, say, Mom’s gripe-fest, remember that she most likely lets loose about you, too.
4. Mind your manners.Would you ever ask a friend, “Have you brushed your teeth this week?” No? Then don’t speak to your brother like that. You don’t have to be formal with siblings, but a petty comment still rankles, no matter how close you are to them. The brothers and sisters whom I spoke to say digs about weight, grammar usage, and your sib’s choice of friends are especially off-limits.
6. B GR8 TXT FRNDS. Occasional hours-long chats are nice, but you’re actually more likely to supercharge your bond by having frequent casual contact, many sibs say. Technology can help. Text messaging from a train platform, commenting on a Facebook update, and pinging on your Blackberry make it really easy to be the thoughtful sister you are.

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Under the Oaks

Posted on October 7, 2010 by jeannie

This sounds like a perfect place for somebody I might know. It’s a guest house on the property of a woman I like very much. There are chickens. It feels like it’s in the woods.
It’s the kind of place I would have chosen for myself back in the day when I wasn’t a part of a family of four.
Here’s the blurb:
“Hi,
My name is Jodi & I have a small 1-bedroom available in Trabuco Canyon for rent. The property is in downtown Trabuco Canyon, where there are more oak trees than houses; dirt roads, roosters, horses and hiking close by in all directions. There are currently two residents in the main house, next door to the 1-bedroom rental.

About me: I am the director of Earthroots Field School and my yard is where I experiment in sustainable living. There are always projects going on in the yard. We have ever transforming grey water-fed gardens, rain catchment, compost piles, fruit trees & chickens. I play guitar, teach children, love spending time in nature, am very crafty and enjoy spending time with my family. I eat healthy, get plenty of sleep and love adventures.

The ideal renter enjoys rural living, doesn’t mind the extra commute, and earns a comfortable & steady income.

Please read the craigslist ad for more details. Feel free to pass this along!
Thanks,
Jodi Levine
(949) 400-3340

Visit the posting at http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/apa/1984480837.html to contact the person who posted this.
Under the Oaks

Available: Small 1-bedroom with micro-kitchenette and bathroom. Current residents living in separate house on property will rent to a responsible, conscious person with interest in sustainable living.
Rent includes use of laundry, WiFi and shared garden space growing organic food.
Available Now $900 per month + $1000 deposit
This oak canopy 1/2 acre lot is a 10 minute walk from O’neill Regional Park, with hiking, biking and horse trails. We have chickens, a dog, veggie gardens and fruit trees. We are developing our water reuse system and rooftop rainwater catchment.
This canyon community is horse-friendly and off the beaten path of OC.
We are health conscious environmentally aware educators & musicians
By appointment only.
Jodi (949) 400-3340

Location: Trabuco Canyon
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/apa/1984480837.html

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Bella Brag Letter

Posted on October 5, 2010 by jeannie

Bella is working on her college apps, and one of her first steps is to provide an informative packet to the teachers who will be writing her recommendations. An optional piece is a Parent Brag Letter.
Here’s the one I wrote for Bella this morning:

From the moment Bella was born at home nearly seventeen years ago, she has been exceptionally good company. I know that every mother loves her child, but Bella delights everybody around her as well. She grew up showered in praise – as an only child, she perhaps relied too much on adult validation, but it was hard not to compliment her when every project was tackled with so much enthusiasm, hard work, and determination. With the idea of fostering her love of learning and adventure while giving her large blocks of time to play and explore ideas, I decided to homeschool her.
We could plan our days with great freedom. Bella has always enjoyed social groups of kids – although she practices serial monogamy with her best friends – and with math lessons easily finished in the mornings, she could participate in many after-school activities. She did. Bella played piano, took singing lessons and tried ballet, and was on the local soccer and swim teams for eight years. She also kept up with her gymnastics at this time. We were both on a quest to have fun and to learn new skills at every opportunity.
The greatest pleasure and advantage of homeschooling was having the time to really investigate Bella’s interests. For instance, when she enjoyed a kid’s stained glass class at a homeschooling conference, we enrolled her in a course back at home. However, there were no children’s classes, so we got the teacher’s permission to enroll her in an adult class with her father as a back-up support person. She created several stunning works from conception to finish this way.
Bella has also always enjoyed the performing arts, and while she participated in many a summer youth theater program, we both enjoyed seeing live productions of every style and level of expertise, from local plays to Broadway productions. Indeed, we tried to include a show on each of our many travels – in London we caught a Tennessee William’s play and in NYC we watched Thoroughly Modern Milly. Theater seeped into our home life and Bella and her friends were often writing scripts and staging productions. This is when Bella’s leadership skills began to emerge: not only was Bella always the director, but she would often jump into the scene to play whatever character was needed!
By the time Bella was eight, she was capable of focusing on a single subject for great lengths of time. She was unfailingly strict about her studies, even more than I. She preferred finishing all her studies at the start of the week; once she was done on Tuesday, she could play to her heart’s content until the following Sunday. I was amused that when Bella entered public school at fourth grade, that she insisted that we cover ALL the math sections for the upcoming week at home, before she went to school on Monday. She found it difficult to reach the level of mastery she was used to from the back of a class of thirty students, but she quickly adjusted. I was pleased to see her carry her homegrown sense of initiative in the public school arena. Bella and several friends put together a monthly newsletter for their class, printing issues for every classmate.
After successfully transitioning to public school, Bella came home for another year. With her November birthday, she felt that most of her friends were a grade ahead of her. At her request, we completed two years of public school material, 5th and 6th grade, in one year. The following year, we made an application, and she was accepted into the seventh grade. She celebrated by promptly running for class president and winning.
Since then, Bella has been in public school. She has been a very successful student. Even more importantly she is growing up into a well-rounded person, who is fun-loving with her friends. Of course, Bella has had her rough times as well, but truly, I would take no other. She sets such high standards for herself that all who are around her unconsciously straighten up and try and work just a little bit harder. She has been a wonderful adventurer and companion, and I am proud to see her go forward and tackle high school, college, and life with the same passion she had as child.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dirt Under My Fingernails

Posted on October 3, 2010 by jeannie

This last Friday Christian and I participated in a monthly gleaning hosted by the local Irvine homeschooling group – where we went out for two hours and helped harvest, or in this case plant, food in the Incredible Edible Park. While I got a bit lost and arrived late, we were able to plant cauliflower starts in teams of three until the job was done.

This is the kind of win-win kind of activity that I just LOVE.
To start, The Incredible Edible Park is eight acres in the middle of suburban Irvine that was donated to Second Harvest Food Bank by Edison.
This garden provides over 300,000 POUNDS OF FRESH PRODUCE EVERY YEAR to this local food bank.
Although there are two daily full-time workers (riding tractors), volunteers do much of the planting, weeding, tending, and harvesting work.
Christian and I get to get our hands dirty and learn about gardening.
For FREE! (I love Earthroots, a local non-profit that has a Toddlers in the Garden program – but that costs $25 per two hour session. Luckily, I am able to offer web editing services for a trade…)
We normally get a part of the harvest to bring home as a “thank you.”
And the best part? We are working with a group of HOMESCHOOLERS!
Wait, is the best part that we are feeding the homeless?

We plan to go back the first Friday of every month from now on.
I even got permission to post it as a meetup for the South OC Attachment Parenting Meetup group.

If you want to join us, let me know and I’ll send you the particulars. The cauliflower we planted this weekend will be ready in 60 days. I’m already looking forward to next month.

Posted in homeschooling, SoCal attractions, south OC | Leave a comment

Autumnal Equinox Meal

Posted on September 26, 2010 by jeannie

After a quick trip to Trader Joe’s, I came home and resolved to make the brown rice salad that I’d sampled there. Plus, since it was Friday, our fish day, I made a simple fish chowder too.

Bella declared it her favorite meal of any I’d ever made.
!!!
So here it is. It’s very simple and cooling to eat in this belated heat wave we’re having.

Brown Rice Salad

brown rice (I used leftovers. 3-4 cups)
wine vinegar (I ran out and supplemented with basalmic)
olive oil

5-6 scallions, chopped fine
red and purple bell pepper, diced (I also added diced baby crookneck, raw)
toasted pecans (I toasted them in a cast iron skillet)
1 can of drained garbanzos
salt and pepper
I also added fresh chopped parsley

optional: at TJ’s they added chicken – I didn’t.

1. The recipe calls for cooking and cooling the brown rice. Mine was refrigerated left-evers, so I nuked it for a few minutes to soften it up.
2. Toss lightly with olive oil and rice vinegar – to taste.
3. Add the rest of the ingredients – and toss.
4. Salt and pepper to taste.

Fish Chowder
2-3 stalks celery, diced fine
1 onion, chopped
2-3 carrots, chopped
2-3 cloves garlic sliced thin
1/2 container crimini mushrooms, quartered
1-2 tomatoes, chopped coarsely
1 container chicken stock
1 # cod fillets (cut into 2-inch chunks, I used scissors)
fish sauce, to taste

1. Saute onions and celery until soft. Add carrots and after a minute or two, add the garlic slices.

2. Pour in the chicken stock. Bring to a simmer.

3. Add tomatoes and mushrooms. Simmer 3-5 minutes.

4. Add cod fillet pieces. Simmer until cod turns white and flakes easily. 3-5 minutes.

5. Add fish sauce to taste.

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Happy 40th, Little Sis!

Posted on September 22, 2010 by jeannie

As my little sister, you may have suffered the brunt of my critical eye – but not only did you survive my sibling torture, you have flourished in this world and really impressed the heck out of all of us – even me.

There are many things I really appreciate about you. And despite our general disregard of conventional boundaries and niceties when we communicate – I’ll try to keep this clean.

I love how much you make me laugh. I don’t know if anybody’s made me laugh harder.
I love your extreme generosity. It may seem easy for you to be generous now, because you make a good living, but I remember when you sent me part of your student loan to get me out of hole way back when.
I love that you are a fast-thinker.
I love that you take charge and shoulder responsibility easily and gracefully.
I love that you are an excellent problem-solver.
I love that you like to play games.
I love that you are physically strong and keep yourself in shape.
I love that you are adventurous and do things like take a Green Tortoise tour to Alaska by yourself.
I love that you love to camp and hike.
I love that we have to plan an action-packed, fun itinerary when you visit.
I love that you have an extraordinary talent for language: English, Korean, German, Thai, even some French…
I love that people love you from all over the world.
I love that you’ve lived abroad for more than ten years.
I love that you have a prodigious memory for jokes and bad song lyrics.
I love that there once was (is??) a Sue Lee fan club.
I love that you are well-traveled – so much so that when I gave you the movie “Once” and you asked if it was called “on-chay” (“eleven” in Italian, perhaps?)
I love that you gave birth naturally – twice!
I love that you married a good guy who fits in well with our family.
I love that you appreciate the finer things in life: chocolate, wine, cheese… caffeine.
I love that I can say anything to you.

You are the best sister anybody could ever ask for – and I MEAN IT!
Happy Birthday, Sue.

Posted in family, says sue | 5 Comments

Seeing Art in Insadong

Posted on September 20, 2010 by jeannie

WIndow of a calligraphy brush shop.


Despite all the illness at the tail end of of my Korea trip – I did get out and do much more touristy stuff than I’d expected. Or at least as much as one might reasonably expect while staying in a capital city of ten million of another country for nearly three weeks.

VIew of some lush rooftops cafes in Insadong.


As on my visit to Seoul, seven years prior, when I mentioned I wanted to see art, I was immediately directed towards the neighborhood of Insadong.

There is one long main street dotted with galleries, cute shops, and street vendors selling fans, chopsticks, and other favorite Korean knick-knacks, including mini-stampers of any photobooth picture that you could provide. (Postcards, though, were amazingly difficult to come across – particularly ones with a food theme…)
And while yes, this is a touristy area, Seoul, in general is not very touristy, compared to other cities I’ve visited. There were definitely just regular Seoulites strolling about, most comically, the ever-present couples dressed in matching outfits. This seems to be a popular thing in Korea, this dressing like eachother. It’s cute in that uber-cute Asian way that makes cartoon characters have enormously big dark eyes.
We stopped to buy a touristy treat, which is called a Kkultarae, or a traditional court cake made of thin strands of honey – 16,000 strands to be precise.
The guy started with a solid block of boiled honey slighter larger than his fist. Slowly he stretched it out into a long ring loop. Then constantly dipping the loop into a vat of cornstarch, he folded the loop in half, and continued the stretching process. That made 4 strands.
Less than 12 folds later, the honey strands were thin as cobwebs – literally 16,000 threads of honey!

Then he tore off an 12-inch length and wrapped it around a spoonful of sesame and nut mixture. The texture was very unusual – like a light honey cloud, but similar to baklava once the honey melted in your mouth.

We ended up buying five boxes, of which we consumed three! One box was a gift for the folks who lived in the apartment underneath my parents (we didn’t know them, but they were definitely experiencing a lot of our noise) and the other was for my neighbors back home.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmkJvPHpixM]
Notable art that day was the Red Room – I would tell you the artist’s name, if I could make out which Korean word on the pamphlet was a name (that’s how few tourists – everything is still written in Korean!). The entire room was strung with metallic red ribbon – and blindly you had to navigate your way to five different spots in the room. You paid $1 (1000 won) and were a given a map and directions before entering. Visitors entered the room individually and were spaced out by at least a minute. At one point, Songbae stretched and screamed – there were butcher knives dangling above our heads and his fingers had grazed one! he wasn’t hurt, but we all got a big laugh.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iivb94c57X0]

Also like this work, which was made in the tradional craft manner of sewing strips of linen to the canvas.


For dinner, we stopped in at a cozy restaurant simply called “Bpap,” which is the Korean word for “rice” and also for “food.” It was an old-style house that had been transformed into a restaurant with a few different rooms. They had one specialty: kimchee chim – which was stewed kimchee served with pork and tofu and rice, of course.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCWpByuI95o]
Afterwards, we (my brother, his friend, Christian and I) got a coffee at an upscale district nearby – this is where I paid $5 for my espresso.
Taxi home – and fell into bed.

Posted in art, korea | 1 Comment

Starting our Second Year!

Posted on September 19, 2010 by jeannie

The fall songs for our sixth cycle of Waldorf in the Woods.
All songs and handplays, except for FIVE LITTLE LEAVES and OATS AND BEANS AND BARLEY GROW will be sung twice.

FOLLOW, FOLLOW ME
NOW LOOK AROUND

SOMETHING TOLD THE WILD GEESE By Rachel Field
(from Mrs. M’s fall circle)

Something told the wild geese
It was time to go.
Though the fields lay golden
Something whispered, “snow.”

Leaves were green and stirring,
Berries, luster-glossed.
But beneath warm feathers
Something cautioned, “frost.”

All the sagging orchards
Steamed with amber spice.
But each wild breast stiffened
At remembered ice.

Something told the wild geese
It was time to fly,
Summer sun was on their wings,
Winter in their cry

OH, WELCOME, WELCOME
(from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury)
this is the second verse of the Birthday Song
Oh welcome welcome lovely day.
With sunshine bright and flowers gay.
With painted birds that sing their song
And make me kind and good and strong.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1StFSedxSh0]

GOOD MORNING SONG
(from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury)
Morning Song
Good morning dear earth. (Crouch, touch ground)
Good morning dear sun. (Rise and extend arms to sky)
Good morning dear rocks and the flowers every one. (Crouch and knock fists on ground, then wave fingers and sway hands for flowers)
Good morning dear beasts. (Remain crouching, put hands on head for horns)
And the birds in the trees. (Flap arms while rising to stand)
Good morning to you and good morning to me. (Bow to others twice, then stand upright and cross arms over chest.)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX7NwaHTW2M]
FIVE LITTLE LEAVES
(from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury)
Five little leaves so bright and gay
(Hold out hand; flutter fingers)
Were dancing about a tree one day
(Sway hand in rhythm overhead)
The wind came blowing through the town,
o-o-o-o
(Put other hand to mouth and blow)
One little leaf came tumbling down!
(Sway hand from side-to-side while folding appropriate finger to palm. Repeat entire verse and actions for 4-3-2-1.)

OATS AND BEANS AND BARLEY GROW
(a classic, but we’ll be using Raffi’s version – because we repeat the refrain 3x, no need to sing the song a second time)
Oats and beans and barley grow
Oats and beans and barley grow
You or I or anyone know how
Oats and beans and barley grow

First the farmer plants the seed
Stands up tall and takes his ease
Clap his hands
And stamps his feet
And turns around to view the land

Oats and beans and barley grow
Oats and beans and barley grow
You or I or anyone know how
Oats and beans and barley grow

Then the farmer waters the ground
Watches the sun shine all around
Claps his hands
And stamps his feet
And turns around to view the land

Oats and beans and barley grow
Oats and beans and barley grow
You or I or anyone know how
Oats and beans and barley grow

MICHAELMAS
(from Elisabeth Lebret’s Pentatonic Songs)
(We’ll hold hands and walk around the circle, changing direction between verses)
A knight and a lady went riding one day,
Far into the forest,
Away! Away!

“Fair knight, “ said the lady,
“I pray have a care!
This forest is evil!
Beware! Beware!”

A fiery red dragon
they spied on the grass,
The lady wept sorely,
Alas, Alas!

The knight slew the dragon,
The lady was gay!
They rode on together
Away! Away!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQYT63MXtbI]

DOT, DOT, DOT

SPINNING ‘ROUND
(from Patina)

TIME TO WASH OUR HANDS
WHO WILL COME TO MY WEE RING?
STORY SONG
THE EARTH STANDS FIRM BENEATH MY FEET
GOODBYE
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MBYZQ8N7e8]
BLESSINGS ON YOUR WAY

DRAGON FLIGHT
(jump rope rhyme from Mrs. M’s fall circle)
Michael on your bright white horse
Silver sword from red-hot forge
Take me with you in your flight
How many dragons will you fight?
1 2 3 4 5 6 etc

Posted in waldorf | Leave a comment

Christian, Recovering

Posted on September 19, 2010 by jeannie

When I don’t post for a while, there is a backlog in my brain – but first things first: Christian is doing much better.

A week after we’d been home from Korea, Christian had a fever on and off again for five days running. Day three he began coughing and the mucus started drip drip dripping. I was on board for letting the virus run its course, because I know from Dr. Sears’ website (our favorite), that this was a pretty typical scenario for a bad cold virus which is not treatable with antibiotics.

However,
the fifth night, his fever spiked to 103 and Christian was delirious and unhappy all night long. Nobody got any sleep (again) and I reached the end of my health patience rope. I scheduled a sick appointment with Dr. Bob (the son of the original Dr. William Sears) the next day, even though Christian’s fever had already gone back down.

Dr. Bob could not hear any pneumonia in Christian’s lungs (there is a characteristic sizzling sound, he says), and thought that an x-ray wasn’t warranted, but that considering the duration of Christian’s fever (five days) and Christian’s slight shortness of breath, that there was probably a touch of pneumonia (bacterial infection) in his lungs.

So, Christian is now midway through his first ever course of antibiotics (amoxicillan).

I am satisfied with our choice to treat with antibiotics, but a part of me still suspects that Christian would be recovering at the same rate even if we had not done gone with the antibiotics.
He’s doing fine, but not eating much. He’s nursing a ton, and feeling fragile. Today, a full week after the fever first hit, he actually wanted to go downstairs and play.

Chad’s sick now. He’s been horizontal for three days now. Yikes.

This one’s a doozy. Be careful it doesn’t get you!

Christian in Korea, before he got sick.

Posted in Christian Holden, health | 2 Comments

An Autumn Gathering Story

Posted on September 15, 2010 by jeannie

Oh dear, my new fall cycle of Waldorf in the Woods starts in a week and I haven’t even posted songs or a story yet.
Good thing I have such enthusiastic group members who come up with story ideas of their own.

Jaimie put this story together from a poem from Juniper Tree.
THANK YOU JAIMIE. (You can see her blog, M Family Tales, here – and hopefully she’ll be posting about her Waldorf teacher training soon. Incidentally, I’m knitting the same wallaby sweater and loving every moment of it.)

Song recording is pending the assembly of the borrowed piano in the living room. Another thank you to Jaimie for the loan!

Once upon a time, not so long ago and not so far away, there was a boy who lived in a cottage at the edge of a forest. Autumn had come to the forest, and the trees were shedding their gold and copper leaves. A chilly wind made the boy shiver as he watched the leaves dancing by.

Just then, squirrel appeared from under the rustling leaves.
The boy called, “Little squirrel, little squirrel, Won’t you stop and play with me?”
Squirrel cried, “No, no, no, I’m busy you see!
I’m gathering nuts to nibble and crunch,
saving them for winter’s lunch!”

So the squirrel went along his way, but then the boy saw Raccoon scratching around the root of a tree.
The boy called “Raccoon, Raccoon! Won’t you stop and play with me?”
Raccoon cried, “No, no, no, I’m busy you see!
I’m gathering nuts to nibble and crunch,
saving them for winter’s lunch!”

So raccoon went along his way, but then the boy saw little Bear sniffing under a bush.
The boy called “Little bear, little bear! Won’t you stop and play with me?”
Bear cried, “No, no, no, I’m busy you see!
I’m gathering nuts to nibble and crunch,
saving them for winter’s lunch!”

As the bear went along his way, the boy’s mother came out from the cottage.
The boy cried, “Oh mother, everyone is too busy to play with me!”
Mother replied “Never mind dear, come along with me,
For there is plenty to do in the orchard you see!
Gathering apples to nibble and crunch,
saving them for winter’s lunch!”

So the boy went to the orchard with his mother and they cheerfully sang as they gathered as many apples as they could carry.

And if things have not changed, they are still the same today.

Posted in waldorf | Leave a comment