I was shocked to hear somebody at that our local YMCA could be so ignorant as to really believe that children should not be exposed to breastfeeding. But Maura was really asked to leave and nurse in the locker room last week. We need to DO SOMETHING! For our kids! Here is Maura’s story.
Angry doesn’t cut it. Livid is almost there but I can’t explain it. I am shaking, literally physically shaking at the thought of what just happened to me. At the injustice. Not so much to me, because I can handle it. I am an advocate for my children and I will speak out. But for everyone else.
When a woman is told she cannot nurse her baby it is such a violation. An atrocity. What? I can’t feed and comfort my own baby? The child my body made, delivered, and continues to nourish? I am proud of all of that. Apparently some other people think it is something that shouldn’t be seen, it shameful, or gross. I think it’s gross when a fake breast is put in a baby’s mouth, but I’ve never heard of anyone being told they weren’t allowed to give their baby a bottle.
I was giving our local YMCA a try to see if my 2 girls, 14months and 3, would be able to play a little bit while I worked out. I wanted to introduce them gradually as they are not used to being away from mommy so I wanted to help them get comfortable in their environment. “What better way to comfort and soothe an anxious baby than to nurse her?” I thought. As I began to get into position with my baby in my lap on the floor where I had been playing with her, an employee immediately approached me and said, “Are you going to feed your baby there?” I said yes with a puzzled look, I’ve really never questioned or been questioned about where I can nurse my child.
“You can’t do that here. You need to go to the locker room. There are other children here and they should not have to see that. There are windows that people could be looking in and watching you too, we can’t have that here.”
Wait. What???? What did you just say to me? Did you really say that?
I grabbed my children up out of that room as quickly as I possibly can. You don’t want other children exposed to breastfeeding? I don’t want my children exposed to people who think breastfeeding isn’t a normal, natural, wonderful thing to do. And those other children? If they haven’t been exposed to it already, it’s really about time they were. We are mammals after all. Mammary glands are what sets us apart from the other animal kingdoms. I say let’s just go ahead and embrace that.
Of course with my ranting on the way out, administrators assured me that it is not the official stance of the YMCA to not allow woman to nurse their babies. She told me it was my right as a mother. Oh, I know, and I will stand up for my rights. But what if I weren’t me? What if I were a new, first time mother to a 6 week old baby? Would that incident, while I tried to nurse my newborn, so embarrassed about being told to leave, hid in the locker room, then quit nursing a week later because it became too hard to hide all the time? This is why these injustices need to be called out. It is for the women who can’t or won’t speak up.
All said and done, official stance of the YMCA or not, I feel that my rights were violated, and I, for one, will never be stepping foot in an establishment that employs people with that attitude again.
Christian with his friend Kyla. Maura was nursing Kyla's younger sister, Malia. Pic by Corrina Murdy
Here are the songs, transitions, and blessings for November 2011. There are a couple of lantern songs since Martinmas is November 11. We’re celebrating with a camp-out at Oak Canyon. woo hoo!
Follow, Follow Me
Follow, follow me
To the ring of the fairies
Follow, follow me,
Where the fairies dance and sing.
Gather with you now
All the magic you can carry,
As we circle ‘round the dancing fairy ring.
Now Look Around
Now look around
We’ve made a ring
By holding hands you see.
Yes, here I am,
And there you are,
Together we are we.
Four Directions Chant
Good morning to the East where the sun rises in the morning.
Good morning to the West where the sun sets at night.
Good morning to the South where the land is warm.
Good morning to the North where the land is cold.
And good morning to the Earth which is my home.
Morning Song from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury
Good morning dear earth. (Crouch, touch ground)
Good morning dear sun. (Rise and extend arms to sky)
Good morning dear rocks and the flowers every one. (Crouch and knock fists on ground, then wave fingers and sway hands for flowers)
Good morning dear beasts. (Remain crouching, put hands on head for horns)
And the birds in the trees. (Flap arms while rising to stand)
Good morning to you and good morning to me. (Bow to others twice, then stand upright and cross arms over chest.)
Autumn Leaves
Twirling in the autumn wind
Round and round the bright leaves spin
Rise and fall without a sound
Autumn leaves float o’er the ground
Spinning round in autumn breezes
One last twirl before all freezes
Yellow and orange, gold and red
Spiraling toward their winter bed
Mountain Lion
Mountain lion wakes at dawn (Sleep on floor and wake to all fours)
And growls with a toothy yawn (Arch back and growl)
Stretches in the morning sun (Stretch with rounded back)
He knows another days begun (Arch back and growl)
Reaching forth with mighty claws(Stretch arms and hands forward, one at a time)
He opens wide his fearsome jaws(Arch back and growl)
His back is arched from tail to mane(Stretch with rounded back)
His roar resounds across the plain(Arch back and growl)
Lanterne (in German)
Lanterne, lanterne
Sonne und monde und sterne
Brenne auf mien licht
Brenne auf mien licht
Abbe nur miene liebe lanterne nicht
Tall, Tall Tree
This is my trunk, I’m a tall, tall tree
In the winter the snowflakes fall on me
I glisten, I glisten
This is my trunk, I’m a tall, tall tree
In the spring time the flowers bloom on me
I bloom, I bloom
This is my trunk, I’m a tall, tall tree
In the summer the breezes blow through me
I bend, I bend
This is my trunk, I’m a tall, tall tree
In the autumn the apples grow on me
They drop, They drop
Autumn Leaves
The trees are saying, “Goodbye” to their leaves
As they flutter and float and fly in the breeze
All golden, orange, and red, they sink softly off to bed.
On Mother Earth’s breast rests each leafy head.
Down with Darkness by E. Amiran
Down with darkness, up with light;
Up with sunshine, down with night.
Each of us is one small light,
But together we shine bright.
Go away, darkest, blackest night,
Go away, give way to light!
The Back Song
Dot, dot, dot
And a big question mark.
Little spiders crawl up your back
Little spiders crawl down your back
Little spiders crawl up your arms
Little spiders crawl down your arms
Cool breeze, tight squeeze.
Egg on the head and the yolk drips down.
Creepy crawlies, creepy crawlies…
Gotcha.
TRANSITION SONGS AND BLESSINGS
The Story Song
Anything can happen
In a fairy tale or rhyme
When you say the magic words
Once a upon a time
Handwashing Song
Time to wash our hands,
Time to wash our hands
Welcome, welcome
Welcome to our table
Welcome, welcome
We all join hands together. (We sing this until every one is at the table)
Snack Time Blessing
Earth who gives to us this food.
Sun who makes it ripe and good.
Sun above and earth below,
Our loving thanks to you we show.
Blessings on our meal.
Quiet Time Poem
Sitting, sitting quietly
I wonder what I may see-
What sound or smell the wind may bring…
I stop to notice everything.
Breathing, breathing calm and slow,
I let myself get in the flow
Of what is happening in this place
When I keep a slower pace.
Lunch Gratitude
Bless this food and everyone who made this meal possible. Let it remind us of our connection to the Earth, the Sun, the Water, the Air, all those who came before us and those who are yet to be born. May we keep them in mind in all we do.
CLOSING CIRCLE
Who will come to my wee ring?
My wee ring
My wee ring
Who will come to my wee ring?
And make it a little bit bigger?
The earth stands firm beneath my feet. The sun shines high above. Here I stand, so straight and strong – all things to know and love
I can turn myself and turn myself and stop me when I will. I can reach high on my tippy toes and hold myself quite still.
The Earthroots Tree Song
Standing like a tree with my roots down deep,
Branches wide and open.
Come down the rain,
Come down the sun,
Come down the fruits to the heart that is open.
Rainbow Bridge Song
Goodbye, goodbye
Blessings on your way.
May the sun shine bright
In your hearts today.
P.S. This song is not part of the circle, but we’ll be singing it for Martinmas
With a Lantern in the Hand by Eberhard Arnold (lyrics) and Marianne Zimmermann (music)
Sleeping Ariadne Roman, 2nd century Marble H: 45.7 x W: 86.4 x D: 31.1 cm (18 x 34 x 12 1/4 in.) San Antonio Museum of Art, gift of Gilbert M. Denman, Jr., 86.134.149 Photo: Peggy Tenison VEX.2011.2.30
Last weekend, I squeezed in an extra big dose of autumn fun.
First, I took Christian to Oak Glen to get a bushel of delicious fresh-picked Jonagold apples and to pick a pumpkin from a patch. I love getting a pumpkin from a real pumpkin patch. Christian loved it too and ran from one perfect beautiful pumpkin to the next, until he found one with a scar on it. A scar like Christian has, and Darth Vader, and Harry Potter. His Aunt Corrina joined us for the day and willingly played “star wars” by ducking around giant old oaks, chestnuts, and cedars and aiming pretend guns (sticks) at the enemies.
Then, we drove to Ganma and Ganpy’s house in Joshua Tree. The next morning was “Apple Days” at Darlene’s house, which was several hours of singing, story-telling, and apple turnover-making. YUM.
Directly from Apple Days, we went to Joshua Tree National Park to meet some friends who were camping. We ended up staying to hike the 2-mile Split Rock trail and having a delicious BBQ chicken dinner. We saw our first wild tarantula of the season.
Saturday was Open Studios Tour and then the Zircon Wish Circus at night! Corrina stitched all my little videos of the circus into one longer one – the circus was next-door to Ganma and Gampy’s house, so we could walk right over.
The next morning I rolled out of bed to drive down to San Bernardino to pick up Chad – he’d taken the opportunity to bike 73 miles.
On the way home we stopped to do a Trader Joe’s shop in Irvine. Dinner was at the famous Berkely Dog (fancy hot dogs) and dessert was pumpkin pie-flavored Yogurtland.
Yup. That was one busy weekend. Lots of calories too.
Thx everybody for always asking about Bella. I’m happy to give updates. She seems to be adjusting well and having fun. She has been home twice for the weekend; Bella as guest rather than resident is a novel experience. We’re adjusting to her absence too.
Here are some pictures she sent me recently. And an email string between her and my brother, who gave her a pair of noise-canceling Bose headphones as a gift last year. That was a great gift idea for a student as serious as Bella. As it’s an email string, start from the bottom and read up.
Begin forwarded message:
From: Songbae
Date: October 24, 2011 6:12:55 AM PDT
To: Bella
Subject: Re: bose headphones
So you’re the cool kid with the cool uncle!
Business and public health would be good combo. But business and econ are pretty different. Are they combined as one major there? You take a couple econ classes in business but econ itself is considered liberal arts (like history) while business is considered professional (like engineering).
I like business but if I went back to school I would major in history or English. The most important thing is to learn critical thinking and the most helpful thing is learning to write well. You can learn all that finance and accounting stuff later.
On Mon, Oct 24, 2011 at 3:14 AM, Bella wrote:
I haven’t actually seen any other kids using them.
By the way, I’m considering majoring in business/economics and minoring in public health! I’m going to sit through an econ lecture before i sign for any classes though!
On Oct 23, 2011, at 1:29 AM, Songbae wrote:
Haha, that’s great! Are they popular there?
On Sun, Oct 23, 2011 at 1:23 AM, Bella wrote:
I just wanted to tell you how much i LOVE my bose headphones! I seriously use them everyday. They are a necessity in college!
It appears that every letter I ever write to you will begin with the words, “You crack me up…”
You crack me up.
Lately, you’ve been moving into a bigger boy mode. While we anxious parents had trike and balance bike out and available when you turned two (you know, just in case you were one of those kids who were agile early) you have only discovered the pleasures of triking this past month. Now, you’re unstoppable and nothing pleases you more than a good trike ride around the whole neighborhood. It’s a shame that we don’t have a dog at the moment.
You have also become a bone fide lego addict aided and abetted by your co-dependent lego-addicted father. I mean seriously? How many lego sets does one family need?! (I better not pursue that line of thought, lest somebody think to criticize my closet-sized stash of yarn). Let’s just say, that it’s lego time in the morning, in the afternoon, and every night too. And every week means another trip to some lego outlet (vis. target, toy-r-us, the mall, even COSTCO) and another kit home. My three-year old son is getting THE MILLENNIUM FALCON LEGO KIT FROM SANTA THIS YEAR.
This is a set that contains 1,250 separate pieces and costs $139 and it’s been purchased for a THREE-YEAR OLD. It’s in the garage already! Chad has already has a pdf of the directions downloaded on his iPad. (And he’s already strategized the building plan – it’s built in two parts! The first 88 pages is just about building the base of the ship!)
So, FYI folks, no need to get Christian anymore Legos. His dad is doing a perfectly good job of keeping him stocked up. And let’s face it folks, Chad has already purchased every “good” set under $50.
Needless to say, the grand opening of the Lego store at our local mall, had a prominent place on our calendar for months. And when it opened, we went twice in the same weekend. And Chad’s been back twice since. I’m not even kidding when I say that there are Lego excursions every week.
The video below is of Christian helping build the giant SpongeBob figure on the opening day.
Christian and his friend Kyla even made it into the online version of the OC Register in a story on the event.
You can check it out here.
Other than that, hmmm… well, hand-in-hand with the Lego love affair is the Star Wars obsession. If your dad has anything to do with it, you will have seen the entire saga in 3-minute youtube clips by the time you are four years old.
I try to balance things out with Forest Kindergarten twice a week.
The video at the Kimberton Waldorf School website is the best description of Waldorf education I’ve ever come across. If you’re interested in Waldorf education, have a watch. You’ll wish you could go to school there.
