Real or not real?

I got this email from Mxxxxx yesterday, and I wondered if it was some kind of sophisticated prank:

Dear Jeannie,

Hi there.  My name is Mxxxxxx and I stumbled upon your blog (googled “how to talk to women”) and I thought you might be a good person to turn to for advice, so here goes.  I met a very intelligent and attractive woman at an art gallery opening a few weeks ago.  She was a high school teacher in her early 30’s (I’m 28, so a little older than me).  We had been talking for about a half hour and really developed a great rapport.  We had even made tentative plans to meet for coffee sometime.  

Then, things suddenly went downhill. There was a pause in the conversation and since she had classic curves (large bust, narrow waist, etc.), I commented that she had a “really nice, hourglass figure”.  My intent was to be complimentary and a little flirtatious but instead she became deeply offended that I was talking about her figure.  I went into damage control mode and tried to clarify my comments but the more I talked, the more I exacerbated things as she rolled her eyes and shook her head.  She told me I was being “inappropriate” and that she was “very disappointed” and then WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.

As I stood there alone rubbing my cheek, I was trying to figure out why she was so upset.  Do you have any thoughts?  Do you think I should email her an apology note?  

Mxxxxxx

I was still considering answering his email, when I got a second email today, which to my mind, verified his existence:

Well, curiosity got the best of me and I sent her an apology note earlier today.  Surprisingly, she got back to me and her response is below if you’re interested.  

Hello Mxxxxxx and thank you for the apology.  If you’re not yet aware, it is very inappropriate and highly offensive to size up a woman the first time you meet her.  It’s unfortunate that you chose to do this, since we had a nice conversation up to that point.  I’m passionate about being a teacher and like to be appreciated for who I am, what I do, and not how well I can fill out a bra.  Your words, along with your tone and demeanor made me feel very uncomfortable and objectified — hence the slap across the face.  

With all of that said, I hold no lingering hard feelings.  At least you showed some good manners by apologizing and knew that it was proper etiquette to turn the other cheek when a female slaps you.  Hopefully you can learn from this experience and have better luck in the future.   

I replied

Hello Mxxxxx,
Thanks for the update. I am interested.
In my opinion, it is not appropriate to comment on a woman’s body until she is happily naked with you in bed. Then, feel free to go crazy telling her how much you love her body.
May I post this email exchange at womantalk? Without your real names, I mean. It is always fascinating to me how differently men and women perceive these issues!
Best,
Jeannie
www.womantalk.org

He wrote back instantly (even though he still uses an archaic hotmail address):

Jeannie, thanks for getting back to me!  Yes, feel free to post the story on your site.   

Lesson well learned, save the body compliments until later.  I guess I just thought we had a great comfort level.  In any case, I struck out with the ladies on all counts that night.  A few minutes later the owner of the gallery, a woman in her 40’s suggested that it would be best if I left.  Being a guy is not easy – not only did I get slapped but then tossed out on the street, lol.   

I can’t tell if the dude is a jerk or not. What do you think?

Posted in relationships | 1 Comment

Waldorf Circle Time Resources

After three plus years of organizing and leading weekly circle times for the 0-7 year old set, I have definitely developed favorite resources. Recently, friends (and strangers) have been asking me what those resources are.

I use what appears to be common resources for Waldorf kindgergartens and parent-toddler groups, as the songs and handplays are often repeated throughout, and also match the materials I originally got from a Waldorf teacher.

I meet with my forest kindergarten twice a week. Many of the songs, blessings, and transitions stay the same throughout the year. At the beginning of each month, I change out 4-6 songs and handplays in the opening circle. Closing circle is always the same. Since I’ve begun working with Earthroots, I’ve been incorporating even more songs about nature, and less about fairies, gnomes, and elves (even though, personally, I find those magical creatures delightful and stimulating to the young child’s curiosity and imagination).

Betty Jones’ A Child’s Seasonal Treasury is my first go-to resource. The book begins with all-year round verses and poems and then movement and drama, including four that I use regularly: a mealtime blessing, a goodbye song and movement, and a morning song. While all four songs and movements were originally introduced to me orally by a Waldorf teacher, it was a relief to find the musical notation and also the described motions. The rest of the book is organized seasonally with poems, songs and even simple crafts and recipes. This large hard cover book can appear to be expensive online (new $100+), but if you are patient, you can find a used copy for under $30 on amazon.

I try and include at least one pentatonic song from Elisabeth Lebret’s Pentatonic Songs for nursery, kindergarten and grades 1 and 2, every month. It’s a challenge to learn a new song every month, but I like having the opportunity to stretch myself, and try not to overly rely on the much over-played conventional songs (Itsy Bitsy Spider; Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, etc). And underneath their groans, I imagine that my fellow mamas are appreciating the exposure to new songs too.

I also love to open up my very old copy of the Waldorf-inspired first grade homeschool curriculum by Oak Meadow. There are lots of joyful movements and sweet handplays in there. More recently, I have also been pulling from another Waldorf-inspired kindegarten homeschooling curriculum by Enki. I adapt the words to match the flora and fauna of southern California (“great stork” becomes “blue heron” and “wild lion” becomes “mountain lion”). And I have been known to look over a friend’s shoulder and learn a song or too from Waldorf homeschooling curriculum Live Education. (Mamas: these are three excellent Waldorf homeschooling curriculum programs.)

Earthroots just purchased a new songbook, which I discovered had (joy!) the music and lyrics to a number of songs that I have already been using (This is my Trunk, I’m a Tall, Tall Tree is the first song). I think I will be using many more of Mary Thienes Schunemann’s compiled and original songs in Sing a Song of Seasons. Even better, the book comes with a CD and every song is sung for you. She completed an entire series of songbooks before she passed away of cancer. I think we need This is the Way We Wash-a-Day also.

I use songs from Sing Through the Seasons for Martinamas every year.

There is a Waldorf homeschooling yahoo discussion board I follow (yahoo.com/group/waldorfhomeeducators/) and sometimes, Mrs. M, the moderator posts some, or the community members share. That’s where I first came across, My while horses walk peaceful and slow…

Of course I collect verses and movements somewhat randomly too. My neighbor taught me “The Noble Duke of York” (but since then I’ve found it my own resources too!) and I adapted it to be a marching movement, instead of a lap game for infants.

One that I haven’t gotten yet, but I will soon, is The Waldorf Poetry Book. It doesn’t have songs, but bits of poetry and verse to memorize. I like to start each circle with a short (or longer) seasonal verse. It’s on my wish list, both personally, and for Earthroots.

I’m sure there is a resource I have missed, but the advantage to writing cybernetically is that text can and does change and shift fluidly. I have many other resources that I have not mentioned here that are surely excellent, but have not needed to delve into them yet.

If you have the resources I’ve mentioned above, you will have more than enough material for teaching a weekly circle for a good long time.

Note to my forest kindergarten mamas: If you own any of these resources and have favorite songs and movements, please let me know!

 

 

Posted in forest kindergarten, waldorf | 1 Comment

Christian with his New Friend

We spent today in downtown LA walking all over the place. The one gallery I wanted to see was far away, and we had to give skid row a wide berth, which added several blocks.

Christian played out back and apparently made friends with this painted woman at Cirrus Gallery.

Then we (Reanna, Christian, Chad and myself) headed into the garment district to meet Corrina and delightfully browse shop after shop of fabrics and notions. Well, Chad took one look at the crowded hustle and bustle of the garment district and headed up to LA library with Christian, hunting for good fountains along the way.

We looked at upholstery fabrics, cheap remains, fabric by the pound, lovely soft sheer linens, underwear elastic, and many other things I did not recognize, until our feet ached. Reanna did most of the spending, but I did buy a bag of pomegranate pips and another of watermelon spears from a street vendor for refreshment. Although next time, I will choose a fresh coconut instead (drink the milk and then have the flesh with salt and hot sauce – baja-style).

I will go back soon. And hope to hit the neighboring flower district too.

Posted in Christian Holden, los angeles | Leave a comment

C-Dog’s Puff

Posted in Christian Holden | 2 Comments

February Opening Circle

Here are the songs, rhymes, hand plays, and transitions for Earthroot’s Forest Kindergarten February opening circle.

I am going to try and post March songs by the 15th of this month – I’d better get crackin’!

Follow, Follow Me
Follow, follow me
To the ring of the fairies
Follow, follow me,
Where the fairies dance and sing.
Gather with you now
All the magic you can carry,
As we circle ‘round the dancing fairy ring.

Now Look Around
Now look around
We’ve made a ring
By holding hands you see.
Yes, here I am,
And there you are,
Together we are we.

Four Directions Chant
Good morning to the East where the sun rises in the morning.
Good morning to the West where the sun sets at night.
Good morning to the South where the land is warm.
Good morning to the North where the land is cold.
And good morning to the Earth which is my home.

Morning Song from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury
Good morning dear earth. (Crouch, touch ground)
Good morning dear sun. (Rise and extend arms to sky)
Good morning dear rocks and the flowers every one. (Crouch and knock fists on ground, then wave fingers and sway hands for flowers)
Good morning dear beasts. (Remain crouching, put hands on head for horns)
And the birds in the trees. (Flap arms while rising to stand)
Good morning to you and good morning to me. (Bow to others twice, then stand upright and cross arms over chest.)


Old Mother Raincloud by Blake Sutton
Old Mother Raincloud arises at dawn. (All begin together hands joined overhead, heads tucked in center)
She raises her billowing arms to the day. (Open up circle waving clasped hands)
“It’s morning, it’s morning,” she calls to her children. (Cup hands around mouth to call)
“It’s cloudy, it’s cloudy,” come out now to play. (Cup hands around mouth to call)

Old Mother Raincloud sings out her song. (Begin dancing around in circle)
She raises her billowing arms to the day. (Bring waving arms up)
“Leap higher, dance faster! You’re only beginning!” she calls to her children. (Leaping and dancing)
“Dance on, oh dance on, to the end of the day!”  (Leaping and dancing)

Then Old Mother Raincloud calls out to her children, (Cup hands around mouth to call)
“The sun is returning, I fading away! (Sinking slowly to the ground)
Your playtime is ending, your playtime is ending.
Return to me now, it’s the end of the day.”

Old Mother Raincloud spreads her arms wide now. (Spread arms and begin to rise slowly)
Stretching and reaching out into the blue. (Stretching and reaching)
Then the great golden sun calls out to her children
They rise from the earth like the fog, like the dew

Old Mother Raincloud will gather her children. (Move back into big joined circle)
Again she will rise at the dawn of the day. (Raise arms)
“It’s morning, it’s morning,” she’ll call to her children.
“It’s cloudy, it’s cloudy,” come out now to play.

It’s Raining by Betty Jones
Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter plop! (Tap thumb to fingers in rhythm, clap at “plop”)
Pitter patter, pitter patter, outside the raindrops drop! (Tap thumb to fingers in rhythm, clap at “drop”)
Every little bit of rain splashes on my windowpane (Tap thumb to fingers in rhythm, waving hands in windshield motion)
Pitter patter, pitter patter, will you ever stop? (Tap fingers while moving hands around body)
Pitter patter, pitter patter, oh so many hours! (Tap fingers while moving hands high to low)
Pitter patter, pitter patter, I know you’re good for flowers. (Tap fingers, then cup hands; wiggle fingers of one hand upwards)
And when you come every day, you make mud for me to play (Tap fingers and then stomp feet)

Pitter patter, pitter patter, come again with welcome showers! (Tap fingers, lift arms to sky)

Great Blue Heron
One leg raised to greet the sun. (Raise right leg and wrap around the left)
Great Blue Heron knows the day’s begun.

Moving on from side to side, (Raise left leg and wrap around the right)
Great Blue Heron stands with shining pride.

Folding back his great gray wings,  (Switch legs and tuck arms back like wings)
He waits to see what day will bring.

Stretching up to meet the sun, (On same leg, try and raise head and stretch neck, chin up)
He knows another day’s begun

Hands on Hips, Hands on Knees
(Act out actions of the verse)
Hands on hips, hands on knees
Put them behind you, if you please,
Touch your shoulders, touch your toes,

Touch your knees and then your nose.
Raise your hands way up high.
And let your fingers swiftly fly.
Then hold them out in front of you

While you clap them, one and two.

The Back Song
Dot, dot, dot
And a big question mark.
Little spiders crawl up your back
Little spiders crawl down your back
Little spiders crawl up your arms
Little spiders crawl down your arms
Cool breeze, tight squeeze.
Egg on the head and the yolk drips down.
Creepy crawlies, creepy crawlies…
Gotcha.

TRANSITION SONGS AND BLESSINGS

The Story Song
Anything can happen
In a fairy tale or rhyme
When you say the magic words
Once a upon a time

Handwashing Song
Time to wash our hands,
Time to wash our hands

Welcome, welcome
Welcome to our table
Welcome, welcome
We all join hands together. (We sing this until every one is at the table)

Snack Time Blessing
Earth who gives to us this food.
Sun who makes it ripe and good.
Sun above and earth below,
Our loving thanks to you we show.
Blessings on our meal.

Quiet Time Poem
Sitting, sitting quietly
I wonder what I may see-
What sound or smell the wind may bring…
I stop to notice everything.

Breathing, breathing calm and slow,
I let myself get in the flow
Of what is happening in this place
When I keep a slower pace.

Lunch Gratitude
Bless this food and everyone who made this meal possible. Let it remind us of our connection to the Earth, the Sun, the Water, the Air, all those who came before us and those who are yet to be born. May we keep them in mind in all we do.

CLOSING CIRCLE
Who will come to my wee ring?
My wee ring
My wee ring
Who will come to my wee ring?
And make it a little bit bigger?

The earth stands firm beneath my feet. The sun shines high above. Here I stand, so straight and strong – all things to know and love

I can turn myself and turn myself and stop me when I will. I can reach high on my tippy toes and hold myself quite still.

The Earthroots Tree Song
Standing like a tree with my roots down deep,
Branches wide and open.
Come down the rain,
Come down the sun,
Come down the fruits to the heart that is open.

Rainbow Bridge Song
Goodbye, goodbye
Blessings on your way.
May the sun shine bright
In your hearts today.

 

Posted in forest kindergarten, waldorf | Leave a comment

Status Check

Chad and I are on the 5th day of the Clean Cleanse. It is going well. The first three days were really the hardest. Now I’m not so grouchy, but I am pretty spaced out. I don’t mind – it’s a relaxed, floaty feeling.

We are eating a liquid breakfast (smoothie)  and dinner (pureed soup) with a hearty lunch off the clean elimination diet. It’s been easy so far, because the Clean chef Jenny Nelson provides two excellent pdf files of recipes at goop.com. There is also a “Clean Manual” available for free at goop.com. It provides enough information to do the whole cleanse without buying the book.

The Elimination Diet excludes any foods that cause mucus (dairy), inflammation (wheat, gluten), irritation (additives, beef), acidity (oranges), and or allergies (peanuts). And though it seems to exclude a lot, it does include a variety of protein sources, vegetables, and gluten-free grain. So, today for lunch we are eating turkey burgers on millet risotto with artichoke hearts and steamed broccoli. That’s a satisfying meal. We are taking a variety of supplements to make sure we are getting a full spectrum of nutrition, and also to support our body as we eliminate toxins from our body. We are using

  • protein powder (Lifetime Life’s Basics Plant Protein-from Mother’s)
  • fiber (psyllium husks- we already had this on hand from Trader Joe’s
  • garlic (raw and chopped – we swallow a clove each night)
  • liver support (Healthforce Nutritionals Liver Rescue 4+, which has a lot of milk thistle and dandelion root – from Mother’s)
  • oil of oregano (anti-mocrobial-essential oil, hard to take)
  • olive oil (added to smoothie – organic virgin from Costco)
  • probiotics (New Chapter Organics Probiotics All-Flora – left-over from Sierra’s move)
  • other exotic “super-food” powders (maca) and berries (goji) that we buy as recipes call for them

Dr Junger theorizes, and this theory speaks very strongly to me, that our digestive tracts are in crisis nation-wide; that our guts are under onslaught day-in and day-out from the allergens, toxins, and irritants we consume.

He proposes a 21-day resting period for your intestinal system. Eat gently and super-healthfully for three weeks and give your guts a chance to heal. See what your body feels like, then add in foods one at a time and see how your body responds.

Basically, Dr. Junger is offering a home study in optimal digestive health for your own body.

 

Posted in food | 11 Comments

Nearly there

Chad and I have almost survived our first day of Dr. Alejandro Junger’s 21-day Clean Cleanse.

Breakfast was an impressively satisfying and delicious smoothie. It was called “Favorite Green Shake” (3 c spinach, 1 c blueberries, 1 T flax oil, 1T maca powder, 1 T spirulina, 1 c almond milk, 2 dates) and it comes from Jenny Nelson’s clean recipes.

Lunch was roasted chicken, brown rice, and roasted beets.

For dinner I made a cream-less creamy turnip soup. (Sauteed one onion, added homemade chicken stock and roasted turnips, simmered, pureed.)

For snacks, we ate carrots sticks, raw cauliflower, roasted turnip, and roasted chicken.

There is more information at goop.com. Search “clean,” click on the first article it pulls up. There will be a description of a 21-day clean cleanse (what we are doing), a 21-day clean diet, and a 3-day mini-cleanse. In the section for the clean diet, there are two downloadable pdf files that are all clean recipes. This link should take you there.

I have high hopes for this cleanse. I fully expect it to cure all my inflammation ills on the right side of my body and for Chad’s allergies to disappear.

So far, this cleanse looks like it’s going to be highly do-able.

I would say more, but I have a art writing deadline tonight and I’ll get in trouble (with the husband) if I miss it.

Posted in clean, food | 1 Comment

January Opening Circle

Here are the songs, transitions, and blessings for Earthroots Forest Kindergarten’s opening circle in January 2012.

Follow, Follow Me
Follow, follow me
To the ring of the fairies
Follow, follow me,
Where the fairies dance and sing.
Gather with you now
All the magic you can carry,
As we circle ‘round the dancing fairy ring.

Now Look Around
Now look around
We’ve made a ring
By holding hands you see.
Yes, here I am,
And there you are,
Together we are we.

Four Directions Chant
Good morning to the East where the sun rises in the morning.
Good morning to the West where the sun sets at night.
Good morning to the South where the land is warm.
Good morning to the North where the land is cold.
And good morning to the Earth which is my home.

Morning Song from Betty Jones’s A Child’s Seasonal Treasury
Good morning dear earth. (Crouch, touch ground)
Good morning dear sun. (Rise and extend arms to sky)
Good morning dear rocks and the flowers every one. (Crouch and knock fists on ground, then wave fingers and sway hands for flowers)
Good morning dear beasts. (Remain crouching, put hands on head for horns)
And the birds in the trees. (Flap arms while rising to stand)
Good morning to you and good morning to me. (Bow to others twice, then stand upright and cross arms over chest.)

Winter White
Winter white, winter white.
Snow flies round and round us.
Piling high to the sky,
Old Man Winter’s found us.

Winter white, though the night
Silence fills the forest.
Winter arms open wide
And lay a blanket o’er us.

The Noble Duke of York
The noble Duke of York
He had ten thousand men (Marching in place)
He marched them all up the hill (March standing as tall as you can)
And he marched them down again! (March with knees bent low))
And when you’re up, you’re up. (March standing as tall as you can)
and when you’re down, you’re down. (March with knees bent low)
And when you’re halfway up (March with knees bent just a little)
You’re neither up nor down! (Stand up, squat down quickly)

He marched them to the left (March to left)
He marched them to the right(March to right)
He marched them upside-down(Bend over and keep marching)
Oh, what a silly sight! (Marching in place)
Oh, what a silly sight! (Marching in place)

Open, Shut Them
(Do all the movements described in the verse)
Open, shut them, open, shut them,
Give a little clap, clap, clap.
Open, shut them, open, shut them,
Lay them in your lap, lap, lap.

Creep them, creep them, creep them, creep them
right up to your chin
Open up your little mouth
but… do not let them in.

Open, shut them, open, shut them,
To your shoulders fly.
Then like little birdies let them flutter to the sky.

Falling, falling, falling, falling
Almost to the ground
quickly pick them up again and
Turn them round and round.

Faster, faster, faster, faster,
Slower, slower, slower, slower,

CLAP!

Squirrel Bounds
Squirrel bounds about the wood (Bound on all fours)
And jumps from tree to tree
Swinging on around the trunks (Hop about in own place)
To see what he can see

Among the highest branches
He waves his bushy tail (Lift rear-end and wiggle)
And chatters out his loudest song, (Squat on two feet facing in)
To say, “Good morning world” (Make clicking squirrel songs)

The Back Song
Dot, dot, dot
And a big question mark.
Little spiders crawl up your back
Little spiders crawl down your back
Little spiders crawl up your arms
Little spiders crawl down your arms
Cool breeze, tight squeeze.
Egg on the head and the yolk drips down.
Creepy crawlies, creepy crawlies…
Gotcha.

TRANSITION SONGS AND BLESSINGS

The Story Song
Anything can happen
In a fairy tale or rhyme
When you say the magic words
Once a upon a time

Handwashing Song
Time to wash our hands,
Time to wash our hands

Welcome, welcome
Welcome to our table
Welcome, welcome
We all join hands together. (We sing this until every one is at the table)

Snack Time Blessing
Earth who gives to us this food.
Sun who makes it ripe and good.
Sun above and earth below,
Our loving thanks to you we show.
Blessings on our meal.

Quiet Time Poem
Sitting, sitting quietly
I wonder what I may see-
What sound or smell the wind may bring…
I stop to notice everything.

Breathing, breathing calm and slow,
I let myself get in the flow
Of what is happening in this place
When I keep a slower pace.

Lunch Gratitude
Bless this food and everyone who made this meal possible. Let it remind us of our connection to the Earth, the Sun, the Water, the Air, all those who came before us and those who are yet to be born. May we keep them in mind in all we do.

CLOSING CIRCLE
Who will come to my wee ring?
My wee ring
My wee ring
Who will come to my wee ring?
And make it a little bit bigger?

The earth stands firm beneath my feet. The sun shines high above. Here I stand, so straight and strong – all things to know and love

I can turn myself and turn myself and stop me when I will. I can reach high on my tippy toes and hold myself quite still.

The Earthroots Tree Song
Standing like a tree with my roots down deep,
Branches wide and open.
Come down the rain,
Come down the sun,
Come down the fruits to the heart that is open.

Rainbow Bridge Song
Goodbye, goodbye
Blessings on your way.
May the sun shine bright
In your hearts today.

 

Posted in earthroots, forest kindergarten, waldorf | Leave a comment

Darth Vader Isn’t a Scrooge After All

Posted in holidays, youtube | 2 Comments

DG Sign

Bella is a sorority girl. It is a little surprising, but she has always loved being parts of groups of people. When she was younger, I swear she only did soccer and swim team for the camaraderie.

And a sorority is the ultimate exclusive group. You have to be interviewed every day for a week and measured up against the 900 other girls queueing up to join the club.

Actually, Bella estimated that if there were 4000 incoming freshmen, that half were girls; then, approximately half of the incoming freshmen girls were rushing a sorority in their first quarter. Luckily there are a dozen Pan Hellenic sororities (that is, officially recognized) and others, and each is taking on up to 50 girls.

Bella felt that there were 3-4 top sororities. And there were two she wanted to be part of. She got into one of those two, the other was Ki O (sp???)

Bella is now a Delta Gamma and she taught Christian the DG sign. It’s some kind of riff off a cute sailor (the DG symbol is and anchor). She had to study the manual and take a test too.

She wants to know what’s up with little kids having such short arms. Christian could only manage this pose for a second or two at a time. but he was very happy to join in for a photo shoot into Bella’s computer. First, Bella requested for him to put on a cute shirt. Christian chose this collared plaid one, put it on, ran to Bella, and striking a pose with arms spread said, “Is this cute?” He calls this shirt his “vacation” shirt, by which I think he means that it’s his “Hawaiian” shirt, which kinda means the same thing I guess.

It’s interesting to me that a sorority is so explicitly about friendship and support. These girls are being taught, and practicing models of maintaining relationships with themselves and with the world. There is a big emphasis on charity work and also on group participation.

Interesting too, that the interview process wasn’t about picking simply the “best” girls, but the girls who best fit the house. Rush was a week long with a solid five hours of interviewing a day. At the end of each day, you prioritized your top sororities from 1-12, and each day you dropped a few from your list. The next day a smaller group of sororities called you back. At the end of the week girls submitted their top two choices, and only one sorority called you back. Bella said there were a lot of upset girls: girls whose personal picks did not match the sororities that called back.

In any case, it’s what she wants for now. For my part, I’m glad to hear that Mondays are soup night at the house, and there is sometimes matzoh ball soup served.

Posted in college life | Tagged | 2 Comments