Never-ending Heat

Poor, poor Giselle. I know that a dog in heat is not the same as a woman having her period, but still, I can’t help but making the analogy between the swollen body, constant need for physical reassurance, and overall lethargy (not to mention the dripping blood.)

Plus we’re carrying her around in her “rag,” to avoid embarrassing stains on the crotch area of our pants.

I’ve had dogs in the past – and I have a vague memory of one of our dogs wearing doggy “panty-liners,” but really, I didn’t remember what an ordeal a heat could be. And to think I have been entertaining ideas about letting Giselle have a set of Chorkies (Chihuahua + Yorkshire Terrier) or Pomchis (Chihuahua+Pomeranian) or even a little litter of Shihuahuas (Chihuahua+Shih tzu) or Chiltese (Chihuahua+Maltese). Alright, I made the last three up – but I swear I did meet a Bugg last month – Boston Terrier and Pug, and that was a great mix: a powerfully built, athletic snorting dog with beautiful, thick black fur.

Of course, I am really missing the boat with a Chihuahua – all the most popular mixes are part poodle for the dander-less factor. Cockapoos (Cocker Spaniel+ poodles) have been around so long, we forget they’re even a mixed breed, but have you seen the latest craze: Golden Doodles? or a Labradoodle?

We can’t handle even another heat like this one, which has lasted already fifteen days. I am investigating getting her spayed first thing tomorrow.

I may have to be satisfied with my first go at a mix: Korean + German.

 

Bella with her English+Korean mix cousin Nabi Grace.

Posted in poochie | 5 Comments

Icing It Down

I went to a “mandatory” parent meeting for cross-country this week. Just before I left the house, Bella called out to me, “Coach says to bring your checkbook!”

Checkbook indeed. A couple hundred dollars later…

I don’t want to grumble too much, because I know how much time and energy a public school coach/teacher puts into her team, and she isn’t getting any of the money we’re forking over. Bella is training very seriously two hours a day, five days a week, and then competing on Saturdays. I fully appreciate the coach’s efforts.

The coach did share some interesting running tips. For instance, she swears by ice baths. She says that after every major running event or even an intense workout, she takes an ice bath. She enthusiastically championed ice baths for relieving all stiffness and muscle pain.

For an ice bath you fill your bathtub with six inches of cold water and then dump in one bag of ice from the grocery store (probably 7 pounds?).

Then get in the tub.

Coach says that she likes to wear her bathing suit bottoms and a hooded sweatshirt with the hood on, to help retain body heat in the rest of her body. That’s right, lower your body into the tub.

And sit there for 15-20 minutes.

Let me know how it goes.

Posted in running | Leave a comment

Ear-ache Remedy

Yesterday somebody said to me, “Oh, I didn’t know you were in the medical field.”

Hah! I don’t think having both your parents be doctors counts as being “in the medical field;” but on the other hand, seeing two doctors approach life and its various maladies with the utmost practicality has given me some license to practice my own form of quack medicine.

My parents’ medical philosophy in a nutshell: REST – take a couple of aspirin if you can’t hack the pain.

Or maybe I just like developing theories and then convincing other people to accept them as truth.

As a parent trying to avoid contact with the medical establishment (Bella didn’t meet a doctor outside my parents until she was four years old; and she has only tried aspirin once) I was heartily afraid of ear-aches. Ear-aches seemed to be the ultimate boogeyman of childhood ailments; get it once and you were on a spiraling downward path of misdiagnoses, bouts of antibiotics, and eventual tubal surgery. My paranoia led to extreme vigilance about Bella’s ear health.

Now granted, Bella’s overall ear health may have more due to hereditary factors than my quacking and fussing – but we did have a strict ear care policy:

If your ear aches, administer a few drops of ear oil. I used to love the Medicine Wheel brand of ear oil, but it is no longer available. I pick the ear oils now based on what used to be the main ingredients of Medicine Wheel ear oil: mullein, St. John’s wort, and garlic.

Most importantly, keep your ear warm. Yes, I said warm. Just like you might keep your throat warm if you had a sore throat except instead of a muffler a couple of cotton balls will do the trick.

This is what Bella and I do whenever our ears bother us and our ear-aches seem to go away in a matter of days.

I’d be curious to hear if this remedy works for you.

Posted in health | 4 Comments

Money Talk #3 – Revocable Living Trusts

After our Money Talk #2 and reading the fourth chapter in Suze Orman’s The Nine Steps to Financial Freedom, it was discovered that two women in our group had already gone through the steps of setting up revocable living trusts. In Money Talk #3, those two women brought their living trusts to share and we got together and combined brain power to see if we could make sense of what they are, who needs one, and how to go about setting one up.

From what I understand, a living trust is similar to a will, in that it dictates who get what once you die – but it sets up those pathways while you are still living, and thus bypasses probate. Once you have a trust set up, all your assets (bank accounts, personal property, and real estate) should be put into the trust, ie, all bank account should list the trust as the beneficiary. A revocable living trust, means just that: it can be changed or adjusted at any time before you die. There is generally a set fee for setting up a living trust ($500-$3000) and then a minimal transaction fee for subsequent additions, subtractions, or changes.

Probate is one of those words people always spit out of their mouths, like “taxes” and “pus.” Basically, if you own property, in California, and you have a will, when you die, the inheritor of your property will pay set probate fees on the fair market value of the house, just to have it go through the probate court (which basically proves the validity of the will). Probate fees for a house valued at 300,000 can be $15,000 -  double those numbers for a condo in south Orange County. So, even if the house you are passing on only has $30,000 paid off, the person inheriting that house may have to come up with at least that much, just to assume ownership of said house. Because the successive lines of ownership are already established in theliving trust documents, a living trust bypasses the probate system,

One woman in the group had seen a financial advisor since our last meeting; that advisor said that only people with at least $600,000 in assets need bother with a living trust. After a little discussion, the group decided to stick with Orman’s advice instead; get a revocable living trust if you own property. We all live in California and the probate fees, which are set by each individual state, are astronomical.

That said, this means putting out money now to save money later. A revocable living trust can be done with a Nolo book, or through documents found online (like legalzoom); however, Orman and another (trusted) lawyer we consulted both agreed, that it was safer to go through an attorney, or at the very least through a paralegal, especially if there is property involved.

The only thing you might not want to put in a trust is your retirement, which automatically goes to your spouse after your death.

This is all new territory for me and more than a little daunting, but as Orman says, What if you don’t have a will or a trust?

No problem, as long as you don’t die.

So, my next step is to call a paralegal I know in Yucca Valley (Pat Smith) and set up an appointment. I can see that it’s going to cost me a minor fortune to finish reading Orman’s book, if I continue to take all her advice!

Posted in money | 1 Comment

Things I Love About Chad

 

  1. He’s a sweet kisser.
  2. He’s super-cuddly and whispers things to me.
  3. He takes good care of me.
  4. He’s so responsible that everybody around him trusts him.
  5. If he says something, he means it.
  6. He knows what he wants.
  7. He is hilarious.
  8. He lets me win.
  9. He brings home books he thinks I might like.
  10. He knows how to save money.
  11. He is steady and reliable.
  12. He has great taste in movies and music.
  13. He holds a lot of information.
  14. He reads long books.
  15. He’s smart.
  16. He’s a good writer.
  17. He’s fun to do stuff with.
  18. He’s really good at digging.
  19. He’ll never back down in a fight.
  20. He’s loyal.
  21. He loves his family.
  22. Kids like him.
  23. Animals like him too.
  24. He’s a hard worker.
  25. He’s determined.
  26. He likes to explore.
  27. He’ll jump the scariest jumps.
  28. He likes my cooking.
  29. He washes the dishes.
  30. He always carries the heavy bag.
  31. He always kisses me hello and good-bye.
  32. He takes me out for Korean food when I’m feeling grumpy.
  33. Sometimes it gives him a big laugh to scare the bejebus out of me.
  34. He’s ticklish.
  35. He smells good.
  36. He’s warm.
  37. I can trust him with anything.

Happy Birthday Honey!

Posted in says chad | 3 Comments

Joblessness

There is something really wonderful about the limbo of being jobless. And that is vast amounts of Golden Time.

For the last fourteen years I have been a mother.
And being a mother means not having very much time to oneself.
This doesn’t mean that I resent my daughter or regret being a mother; anybody who knows me and Bella, knows that we are close. I love being a mother and it is definitely one of the things I was born to do.
But I am stating a truth: when you are a mother, you get very little time to yourself.

When you are a single mother, you get even less.

And there are some things that I do – like writing and thinking – that I do better when I am alone. By “alone” I mean alone in thought – without responsibility to interact meaningfully with people around me. I can be easily be alone in a busy cafe – as I often was when I lived in Montreal and Reims – I liked to be deep in thought, reading or writing, shutting out all the floating conversation around me.
But today I’m a mother and a wife, and so, being alone usually means being the only person in the house.

After Bella was born, I developed a simple hierarchy of time. While a more detailed system has always been appealing, in reality I just have Golden Time and… Everything Else. (Can you see here that it could be useful to have “Silver Time” or Bronze Time”?)

Golden Time is a big chunk of protected time, when I can crank down hard and focus on a project that needs lots of brain power.

Golden Time is usually at least two hours. It can be smaller, but being smaller drastically reduces its chances of value.

Golden Time should never be wasted on cleaning the house and/or cooking, as both activities require very little brain power and are best accomplished in social settings.

Golden Time may be used very sparingly for naps and phone calls to my sister.

Golden Time is most frequently used for writing and blogging. There are many other things that should be done during Golden Time, but these things are often neglected, simply because there is never enough Golden Time. Things like deciding what I want to be when I grow up, reassessing life priorities, brainstorming, and dreaming.

And now, Bella goes to school every day. Chad goes to work. And I don’t have a job.

I am home alone for four to six hours a day. That is TONS of Golden Time. What can I make of myself with all this time? What kind of new job can I fashion or find? What would womantalk.org look like if I started treating it like a job and poured more brain juice on it? Could I be a pro-blogger?

Posted in blogs, job hunting | Leave a comment

Godspeed, Little Doodle!

Bella ran her first track meet today: 3 miles in 27 minutes. Yesterday she officially made the cross country team by running 4 miles in 29 miles. She’s taking this all very seriously – coach said no greasy food or dairy the night before the race – so she abstained from the hamburgers on the grill (although she did have a few bites of Ben and Jerry’s) and went to bed early.

We had to get her to school this morning by 6:30 am – on a Saturday!

Rough – but turned into a good time for Chad and I to do a nice 9-mile run along Wood Canyon Trail. Heard coyotes – saw one too.

Posted in running, says bella | Leave a comment

Cooler than Freecycle

I am in the middle of my first freecycle.org transaction, and I’m loving it. Basically, freecycle is a bulletin board for people in a community to give and get FREE THINGS. While, I love the word FREE, I love more that I can post something of mine and have people immediately jump up and say, “Me!, Me! I want it and I’ll come to your house and take it away!”

Yesterday I posted Bella’s old cow dresser (from my sister-in-law Lisa), via a google page – I created a google page; one, to see if was as easy as they say, and two, to draw a cybernetic line between my blog, photo accounts, and my more “public” transactions. Check out my first google page here. I think I’ll keep it just for the purpose of posting freecycle things.

It was a pretty easy process; I had to have a yahoo account and go through a brief registration process, which included explaining who I am and why I want to be part of the freecycle group. Then I submitted my OFFER to the moderator (100% volunteer-run), who had my offer posted within an hour. The same day, I had four emails from interested parties – I am giving the first lady another day to figure out how to pick it up, otherwise it will go to the next person, who says he can pick the dresser up immediately.

But today, I signed up for something even cooler than freecycle – something GREAT!

That’s COMMUNITY SUPPORTED AGRICULTURE through South Coast Farms in San Juan Capistrano.

Basically I signed up to get 25# of 100% organic, mostly locally grown produce every other week until December for $30 ($220 total). I pick up my basket of produce every other Wednesday at somebody else’s house only five minutes from my own. This week’s basket included: 2 heads of lettuce (one red, one green), melons, leeks, onions, apples, kale, grapes, nectarines, oranges, tomatoes, squash, green beans, cucumbers, and basil.

!!!

I have the option of getting a basket every week and/or increasing the size of the basket to 35# for $37, but I’m starting cautiously. I wouldn’t want to be throwing away a bunch of organic produce, especially since I don’t have a worm box set up yet.

I remember reading an essay by Barbara Kingsolver, where she was trying to reduce her environmental impact – and when she started investigating the fuel costs of buying food (and water!) shipped to the grocery store from other countries, she realized that the single most dramatic thing she could do to reduce her family’s carbon footprint was to eat locally grown food as much as possible. Now I keep hearing people raving about her newest book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, which is all about her family’s food odyssey. I haven’t read it yet, but it’s on my list. In fact, this book comes so highly recommended that when I asked my friend who works within the CSA community for website tips, she directed me to Kingsolver’s animalvegetablemiracle.com website for more information.

I read about the local CSA in the OC Weekly (Issue #46) – and I understand that Tanaka Farms and Morning Song Farm also have CSA programs.

How great do I feel?!

I have just secured organic produce for my family for the rest of the year and I’m supporting local farmers. Talk about a win-win.

 

Posted in food, Jeannie stamp-of-approval, modernday hippiness, south OC | 2 Comments

Need suggestions!

Bella needs to choose a biography or autobiography of at least 350 pages.
Anybody have a good suggestion?

Here are some of the auto/biographies we now have on hold:

Vivien: the life of Vivien Leigh by Alexander Walker

Dreamgirl: my life as a Supreme by Mary Wilson

The Story of my Life by Helen Keller

We’ve been doing google searches with the terms “best autobiography” and “best biographies” and poring through lists at amazon.om and wikipedia – then checking the page numbers at amazon. Sheesh, it’s hard to find an auto/biography that’s around 350 pages; either they’re much shorter (for kids) or much longer (for grown-ups with lots of time…)

Posted in books | 3 Comments

Bridal Shower/Bacholerette Party Pics

These photos go with this post and were taken by Wanda.

This is what the tables looked like when I got there. I love fresh flowers.

And my friends drinking in the shade of a boulder. (Notice the gifts to my right? I got some terrific gifts!)

Here we’re walking over to the reception site.

Wanda made me that turquoise necklace.

My very first tortoise scat.

And that’s me having bagels and lox the next morning – you can see part of Caryn’s body brewing fresh coffee in front of the campstove.

Perfect party.

Posted in Jeannie stamp-of-approval, wedding for $2000 | 1 Comment