Sick and Weepy

Sometimes sickness, PMS, and poor attitude just all align in such a way to trigger a series of crying jags – I’ve cried myself to sleep the last two nights and I routinely burst into tears in the middle of day. What the?

Poor Chad. He just spoons me, kisses my back, and waits it out.

Who knew that it would me who would have the hardest time adjusting to moving? Part of the problem may be that I am spending too much time online. A cyberhug  is nice, but chilly. I think I need to find some real, live people to hang around with.

Also, I’m depressed because Nabi Grace’s holiday visit from Thailand was canceled. Sue, Joss and the baby are headed to Australia instead for a wedding. We’re invited also, but we don’t have the funds. Which leads to the whole other depressing topic of jobs and money. I can either suck it up and keep applying for jobs, work on clip building, and blog with no income, or I c-c-can g-g-o back to s-s-subbing. Do you see how jittery I get when you mention substitute school teaching? It’s not that it’s awful, it’s that an awful part of me is released and fed when I substitute teach; the part of me that’s impassive, rigid, and doesn’t listen to any excuses.

Wait!

Serendipity: while I was wallowing in my big pile of sorry-for-me mud, my email pinged. One of the craigslist jobs I applied for this morning wants me to do a sample write ASAP. Better get on it.

Posted in health | 3 Comments

Bella was here:)

Hi my name is Bella and I am Jeannie Lee’s daughter. I just wanted to say hi and that I love my mommy very much<33

Posted in mothering | 2 Comments

Carbs and Running

Bella gets extra credit for sharing a newspaper or magazine article with her biology class – extra extra credit if she makes a power point presentation. So, I showed her how to pull together a little power point and it turned out okay! I’m posting it here, because she did it on carbohydrates and long-distance running and I learned a thing or two: how much to eat, what kinds of carbs to eat and when.
Carbs and Running
(Plus, I’m sick and chilling on the sofa listlessly watching the email exchange among my husband’s family deciding not to buy Christmas gifts this year for each other – except for the kids.)

Posted in running | 2 Comments

Mac and Cheese

Eating a healthy helping of delicious mac and cheese at Corrina’s last week made me want to make some of my own this weekend. So I did. [Ha, ha. I just checked corrina’s blog and she posted about mac and cheese too! Plus she linked to all the recipes she’s been lovin’ lately.]

I usually riff off a recipe called “Mom’s Macaroni and Cheese” which is in the Cabbagetown Cafe cookbook (same town as Moosewood Cafe). I’m going to post the recipe in its entirety, and put my own modifications in parentheses. I like to make a big batch – probably two 11×9 pans full – which fills my Pampered Chef Rectangular Baker stoneware (14 cups).

Mom’s Macaroni and Cheese

3/4 uncooked ww macaroni (I use the whole bag – why cook less?)

3/4 c soft bread crumbs (I had some store-bought on hand, so I poured in approx 2 c)

2 tbs butter (didn’t use any)

1/2 # grated Cheddar cheese (I used slightly more than a pound)

1 1/4 c hot milk (I used approx 3 c soy)

1 small onion, finely chopped (I used one huge yellow – and sauteed it very slightly)

1/4 c finely chopped parsley (I can never remember to buy this ingredient… so none)

1/2 tsp salt

sharp mustard, optional (I use several dollops of dijon)

2 eggs (I used 6 eggs)

paprika (Didn’t have any, so I used my old standby: Old Bay Seasoning)

(I add hot sauce, relish, and two grated zucchinis)

1. Cook the macaroni. (I bring the water to boil, add the pasta, cover, and turn off the heat – it’s a great energy-efficient way to cook pasta when it’s doesn’t have to be cooked perfectly.)

2. In a large bowl, combine the bread crumbs, butter, and cheese. Pour in the hot milk. Add the onion, parsely, and salt. At this point, taste. If the sauce is not flavorful or cheesy enough, add whatever you feel is lacking. (This is when I throw in a few squirts of hot sauce, a couple spoonfuls of relish, the dijon, and grated zuccs.)

3. Add the beaten eggs, then the cooked noodles.

4. Pour into a well-buttered medium-size baking dish. Sprinkle with paprika.

5. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, or until firm and golden brown.

6. For best flavor, allow to sit for 10 minutes before serving.

This recipe makes a tender, custardy casserole.

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Muse

Me and Chad rocking out at the Muse concert last night. Can you see how the power of Muse is being transmitted directly into his brain?

The Muse concert last night at a packed Verizon Amphitheater was excellent. The sound was great, the show was solid, and even the lights and visuals were above par. Muse really know how to scramble your mind with segues between melodic tunes and heavy metal riffs, and then searing noise and static. I especially loved how the lighting went to erratic white lights during the most radical sections of their sounds – very conducive to moshing in my own little 2×2 foot concrete space in front of my chair with Chad’s thumb hooked in my belt loop. Good thing he kept me leashed – I was having flashbacks to Motormouth and Lords of the New Church concerts – My neck’s a little sore today.

The delicious chicken kebab and wake-up coffee (coffee with espresso hits) and the mixed-age crowd really enhanced the evening as well. damn. I forget how much I enjoy a good live show.

Posted in music | Leave a comment

Personal Breastfeeding History Part I

Bella and I in 1994

One of the biggest reasons I started that little “zine” WomanTalk some fifteen years ago was so that cool women I knew could all talk, support, and share information together. Another organization that does this is La Leche League, which is an international organization that supports all breastfeeding moms (regardless of how long they choose to nurse their babies).

As much as we all know intellectually that breastfeeding is best, I tell you there is still not very much support for woman nursing their babies in public or even nursing past the age of six months. Believe me, I am not uncomfortable with my body, but people around me sure tried to make me uncomfortable every time I nursed in public. Because of this attitude, I saw too many intelligent and compassionate women give up breastfeeding long before they had intended. In order to support other breastfeeding moms I ended up applying to become a La Leche League leader.

La Leche League has a wonderful, innovative application process which consists of a self-paced study course of key texts and an ongoing dialogue with an experienced leader. In addition, the prospective leader is expected to review her own breastfeeding history and to attempt to uncover any biases that might influence the kind of advice she would give a new nursing mother.

Even though I supported LLL wholeheartedly, when Bella weaned and the prospects of another child looked dim, I drifted away from La Leche League. Now, if a friend is about to have a baby I make a copy of my breastfeeding history and pop it in the post. As a new mother I loved hearing the stories of my like-minded attachment parenting friends who had been through the same experiences before me. I was inspired to finally type up this essay because of Corrina’s lovely post on attachment parenting here. (The original document was printed on a dot-matrix!)

Personal Breastfeeding History Part I

My journey into parenthood has been, I realize now, as tumultuous, as long, and as enlightening and wonderful as the path of many other parents.

[Hold up. This essay is way longer than I realized. Also, I think it needs a lot of editing – we’ll see what I get to by tomorrow.]

Posted in babies, mothering | 2 Comments

Two Irish Lovelies

Overnight it’s turned from gazpacho to chicken soup weather. Being that it’s a transition day, I’m making both. Bella’s home sick with a sore throat. She’s curled up in a blanket downstairs reading her Audrey Hepburn biography. I’ve come upstairs to the computer to escape yet another exclamation about Audrey’s dalliances with married men.

I think that the Irish film Once (imdb 7.9/10.0) directed by John Carney could easily be my favorite movie of the year, right up there with Ratatouille. It’s a solid A. But I don’t want to call Once a musical. To begin with, as many of the commenters on imdb have remarked, this movie is cheese-less. There is no hoopla or gimmicky self-conscious musical assemblage – nothing trendy or affected. And all the music is diagetic (new word for me: means all the music appears to come from the world of the film itself). It’s a low-budget film where both the leads are played by non-acting people who happen to be musicians both on and off the screen. Glen Hansard of The Frames plays “Guy,” a broken-hearted busker playing on the streets of Dublin and Markéta Irglová plays the “Girl.”

For a movie where you never see the two leads kiss, this movie is impossibly romantic! Their first “date” is in a piano store where the Czech girl (never named) comes to play for free. Guy’s impressed. Soon Guy has pulled out his guitar and is strumming one of his songs and within minutes there is an improbable, but utterly convincing and magic jam session happening. Something’s happening with this film that I think is going to end up influencing all kinds of cinema from now on; it somehow effortlessly and gracefully rewrites what a musical or even a music video might be. I recommend it whole-heartedly, especially to my musician friends. I’m even thinking about taking Bella to see it as I think the R-rating (for language) is misleading; there is no sex, drugs, or violence at all.

[ha! I posted about Once before dooce did. Small pleasures. She loved it too btw.]

Now this film, The Wind That Shakes the Barley (imdb 7.7/10.0), I would not watch with Bella even in the house. Not that she would understand a word of what’s going on, but because I wouldn’t want her hearing things, things like the screams of a man getting all of his fingernails pulled off. Violence notwithstanding (takes place in the early days of the IRA) this movie has not only made the most box office money in the history of Ireland, it also won the Palm d’Or at the 2006 Cannes Film Festival. The lead is played by the girlie-faced cutie Cillain Murphy. And there is a haunting rendition of the song from which the movie takes its name at one of the funerals. You can see the mediocre preview here.

Chad and I are only halfway through this one – but I can easily give it an A. The story is riveting.

 

Posted in movies | 3 Comments

the cyber boondocks

I am feeling more than slightly provincial.

My explorations into outer space are freaking me out man!

I remember my first intrepid step into public cyberspace. I did it with a friend. It was years ago, when she and I were both married, and our husbands were in the next room (giving each other congratulatory pats on the back). My husband-at-the-time and I were over for our weekly couple’s therapy dinner. With another couple we had been reading and discussing one chapter of Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples each week alternating houses for dinner. The book was pretty good – don’t judge it by the eventual failure of both mine and my friend, C’s, marriages.

C and I were at her new computer which had “internet access,” back when you still had to explain what that meant to your parents (every time you visited them). We were giggling over the possibility of searching for “midget porn” or “poop”… No, wait – that came later with the advent of google and youtube and youporn.

Rewind.

C and I were at her new computer which had “internet access,” back when you still had to explain what that meant to your parents (every time you visited them). We were giggling over the possibility of searching around a new place, “a cyberspace,” and meeting strangers.

We decided to visit a “chat” room. Sounded pleasant enough. We jumped through a few little hoops, gave our online identity the name “Mocha,” and when we got to some choice between “Child” or “Adult,” we chose “Adult.” Suddenly we were instant messaging a stranger, a man apparently, who seemed nice enough. He was married and his wife was in the next room.

It took us another ten minutes of chatting for us to discover that we weren’t willing to give him what we realized he wanted. Which was… let your imagination take over here… C and I were mortified. On the other hand, C and I were also dying with curiosity! This guy was engaging in sexual encounters online with his wife in the next room? We pummeled him with questions for another ten minutes until he politely excused himself. Really, he was a very polite and articulate guy.

Of course this was all way, way back when it hadn’t occurred to me that an “adult” chat room might be x-rated. Back when the internet was seemed like a chaotic, teeming, unorganized mega-city, a slightly dirty dangerous place, where children should never be left unattended. Since then, I’ve come to like cyberspace very much (not as much as NYC or Montreal), but still, I don’t do much exploring any more. These days, I hop on the internet, cruise down familiar avenues and pick up the same groceries week after week.

I’ve never been very interested in learning new programs or pressing up against the edge of internet possibilities. I rarely spend any time just surfing. I’ve just kept up enough to be able to function with the rest of the world. Whenever there was an especially big new computer trend I would get moderately involved – just enough not to be a total computer hick. I had students writing persuasive essays on whether they should MySpace or not (I know, I know, it’s all about Facebook now), I started using Google Maps and Gmail, etc, etc.,

Then I discovered blogging. And it took me while to discover that blogging meant bloggers. And even though I loved the medium it seemed to me as a newbie that it wasn’t that easy stumbling across a blog I enjoyed visually, intellectually, or informationally. After slogging through too many disappointing random blogs, I just backed off and stopped searching. A friend turned me on to Dooce.com and metro dad – and then every blue moon another likeable blog would pop up in conversation. You know how different that is from today? I can’t go one link without finding GREAT BLOGS ALL OVER THE PLACE. And lots of blogs where the writers started with small personal blogs on a free platform – and grew to become much bigger exciting things than ever anticipated.

Take The Flog. for example (thanks to Kristina Kite over at Overduin and Kite for that recommendation). You know how I’m always saying I want to write about art in LA? It’s happening already, with a calendar, gallery links, and lots and lots of photos, by an artist named Fette. Through her, I found Flavor Pill, which publishes ten email magazines, covering art, books, music, fashion, world news, and cultural events in five cities. Flavorpill already has a list of the 35 should-see L.A. art shows of the new season.

Then I started going through my notes from my lunch meeting with Ann Song at Modern Luxuries (publishes The Angeleno among others). She had mentioned that a contributing writer to the Angeleno had an L.A.-based blog called Blackburn and Sweetzer. Turns out that Tasha Nita Adams is doing pretty much exactly what I want to be doing: maintaining a blog, writing freelance for a magazine, and writing guest features on a web magazine. And just last month she upgraded from being a blogspot blog to her own slick website called BlackburnandSweetzer.com.

Except neither me nor my blog would ever look so sleek and fashionable. And mine would probably have a lot more words.

Posted in blogs | 4 Comments

Donate Used Running Shoes

Blogging overload. Yesterday was a little too much time on the computer thinks I. My blogger’s forearm is acting up and I’m feeling verrry spacey.

I got a comment today on my post, “How to pick a Good Running Shoe,” from somebody named Alyssa at newbalancetampa. My finger was just about to bam! hit the spam button, when I decided to be responsible about spam-calling, and check her out first. Turns out that “alyssa” maintains a bone fide blog for the New Balance store in Tampa … and it’s not half bad! In fact, she’s doing exactly what I might be doing sometime in the near future. Gulp. It’s like saying I’m going to be a great telephone marketer – you know, add human-ness to a corporate entity.

In any case, I will post a link to her blog here, simply because she posts about where one can donate used running shoes. But if on principle you don’t want to visit her blog site, I will also post her two links:

Donate used running shoes to kids in Africa through shoes4africa (you can mail the shoes directly).

Or go through this Boulder, Colorado-based charity called One World Running.
One World Running is actually a Blogger blog documenting kids from different cross-country teams donating used sneaks. Pretty sweet.

I think we have at least five used pairs kicking around in the garage at this very moment.

Posted in good deeds, running | 3 Comments

I'm not feeling defensive about being at home…

Strangely, Monday still feels like Monday when I am “not working,” because dang it, looking for work is an odious job – practically as bad as working; I’m under-appreciated by prospective employers (ahem, ignored might be a better word) and I’m slightly stressed (running very low on play cash – we have enough for bills, but no new nothin’ for a while). But despite my grumping, I am making a tiny little bit of progress everyday, and also I am cooking, blogging, and reading lots – so how bad can my life be?

I’ve categorized my three main areas of focus for job hunting:

1. Looking for a real job -  I continue to apply to positions through journalismjobs.com, but I find that I am under-experienced for magazine editorial positions or over-qualified for the entry level jobs. I am now pursuing more freelance style work and also applying to teach art history and/or English at the local community college.

2. Building my clip file or “tears” -  in order to land any kind of writing work, I need proof I can write, beyond blogging and my master’s thesis, and yes, beyond the 20-page essay I wrote for an art catalog last year. To this end, I am polishing up a few posts and shopping them about to the Sun Runner, a local hi-desert mag,  and Indie Bloggers, a writing blogsite. I have also embarked on a self-directed program to learn the style of writing art blurbs in the LA Weekly and OC Weekly. I’ve also instituted two LA art days a month: two full days completely dedicated to seeing art. That’s a start, although, after only seeing seven galleries this last Saturday, I can see that I may have to start going weekly.

3. Increasing hits on womantalk.org/Building depth versus breadth – What does this mean? It just gives me license to blog as much as I damn well please. No seriously, this blog has been the portal through which I have been reconciled with a victim of my childhood bullying and published for the first time, so it has proved to be a capricious, but effective method of self-promotion.

So, I am posting (almost) every day.

I am actively seeking out other blogs I want to read: Jurgen Nation and Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino (both are founders of Indie Bloggers), a Thinking Stomach, and others, by following their blogroll links.

I am also actively commenting and involving myself when I find blogs that make me want to say something.

I am checking out one blog from Technorati’s top 100 blogs every day. These are the blogs with the most “authority.” Authority is determined by how many other blogs have linked to you in the last six-month period (multiple links from the same blog counts as one). A site like Engadget has  32,000 links to be at the #1 spot. Boing Boing is #2 with nearly 25,000 links. It’s one way of reading news in the blogosphere and also these blogs are already filtered since thousands of people find these particular blogs interesting enough to link to them. These are the blogs that are (mostly) making enough money to support their writers. My authority is very small, but growing. (I appreciate every link -  thanks Jun, for linking to me yesterday!)

I’ve been reading blogging self-help sites, like problogger.net, where Darren Rowse gives all kinds of tips about how to make money blogging. And reading books, such as Rule the Web * by Mark Fraunfelder, the guy who founded Boing Boing (okay – truthfully, I haven’t started reading that yet – I’ve been walking by the table where Corrina‘s been reading it and asking her for encapsulated tips.)

I’ve been revamping my “About” page to include my CV and writing clips. And working on my sidebar to include different kinds of information. I’m building a “Eaten” page which will link to every recipe I’ve ever posted and to a map of my favorite restaurants.

I’ve joined Blogher and Indie Bloggers, and added the Blog Action Day badge. (Blog Action Day is October 15 and everybody is encouraged to post that day about saving the environment.)

And more, but now I’m embarrassed and self-conscious, because holy mother of blogging, do I do anything but sit in front of my computer all day?

I’m off to make chicken tacos for dinner.

*Thanks to John for giving me this book!

Posted in blogs, job hunting | 7 Comments