Santa’s Last-Minute Workings

Reading Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides which doesn’t sound like a very Christmas-y book (it’s not), but it IS all about family and history.

It got me thinking about how easy it is to lose our family history – sadly, it often only takes one generation. For instance, I hardly know anything about my grandparents! I’ve decided to give my parents journals from Bella and Christian in which they can write memories of growing up in Korea. So right now (besides stuffing stockings…) I am concocting a list of starter sentences that will act as writing prompts throughout the journal. The journal for my mom will be slightly different than the journal for my dad – but here’s one list of writing prompts:

My name is Sang Nam Lee. I am your grandfather.

I was born in…

The night I was born…

When I was born, my parents lived on an apple farm. I was my parents second son. My older brother was named…

I remember that he used to…

Everybody said that he…

I had two sisters too. Their names are Sang Eh and Sang Won.

I remember that Sang Eh liked….

She was known for…

Once she..

I remember that Sang Won liked….

She was known for…

Once she..

The house we lived in was…

My favorite thing about the house was that…

I’ll always remember that…

My earliest memory is…

My mom was a great cook. She used to make…

I remember that my mom…

This is what I know about my grandparents (my mom’s parents):

My dad was…

One thing people always said about my father…

He was good at…

This is what I know about my grandparents (my father’s parents):

This is what I know about his life:

When I was a kid, I was really good at…

Once, I…

When I grew up I thought I would…

I wanted to live…

My favorite thing to do with my friends was to…

In the summer…

In the fall…

In the winter…

In the spring…

My favorite holiday was…

I started school when I was…

My school was…

I got there by…

My favorite part of the school day was…

Sometimes…

After school I would…

The part I didn’t like about school was…

For lunch I would eat…

One teacher I remember is…

My favorite thing to do outside was…

The Korean War started and…

I remember that…

We had to leave my house because…

When I was a teenager I…

Once I got sick and…

I remember that…

I served in the military as all Korean boys are required to do. I did my service as…

I thought it was…

Once…

When it was finished, I…

I went to college…

I remember that…

My closest friends were…

I liked them because…

When I went to medical school, I often…

While in school, I made money by…

I lived at…

When I would visit my mother and sisters, they would…

We would always…

When I met your grandmother for the first time, I remember that she…

I remember that her parents…

My family was…

I decided to specialize in radiation oncology because…

When I married your grandmother, the ceremony was…

I remember when your mother was born…

We were living…

I decided to move to the United States because…

I decided to stay because…

What I remember about Columbus, Ohio was…

I remember when your uncle Songbae was born…

He was…

What I remember about Chicaco, Illinois was…

I remember when Sue Emo was born…

She…

I’d always hoped to have ______ children.

We moved to Virginia, to the Perry Penny Drive townhouse because…

We moved to the Rockville house in…

What I liked best about living in that house…

I liked being close to Washington DC because…

We went on lots of family camping trips. Once I remember…

When your mom was little she was…

Sometimes she would…

I always thought she would…

When your uncle Songbae was little he was…

Sometimes he would…

I always thought he would…

When your Sue Emo was little she was…

Posted in family, gifts | 7 Comments

Advent, Advent, a candle burns…

I’m finding that the new holidays I celebrate with my kids are my favorite ones; when festivals and ceremonies are created, they can be made with thought and love and without sugary treats and material gifts.

This is the second year I’ve participated in a Waldorf-style Advent celebration and I think I’ll have to do it every year from now on. It is such a sweet ritual – and full of meaning. And I don’t even consider myself Christian! I’m aware that Advent is counting down to Jesus’s birth, but I also believe that these many festivals of light in the darkening days resonate deeply in all of us, as we naturally turn inward towards our own light when the days are chillier and shorter.

My friend Darlene hosted the celebration in her home on the third Sunday before Christmas. She was careful to set it up so that it was not a social event, but really a quiet, contemplative, more sacred time for the children. She helped prepare all the parents by calling each home and singing the songs she was using into the answering machine, to make sure everybody had a chance to learn the melodies.

We began by entering her home through the back door, as the advent spiral was set up in the darkened living room. All the children were seated at the large kitchen table expectantly. The parents stood around the edges. Darlene very briefly explained the meaning of Advent and then as I read the poetry she’d given me,  Darlene surrounded each candle with the appropriate objects and then lit it. I believe that it is a Steiner poem.

The first light of Advent is the light of stone–.
Stones that live in crystals, seashells, and bones.
The second light of Advent is the light of plants–
Plants that reach up to the sun and in the breezes dance.
The third light of Advent is the light of beasts–
All await the birth, from the greatest and in least.
The fourth light of Advent is the light of humankind–
The light of hope that we may learn to love and understand.

When all the candles were lit, we enjoyed them a moment by singing together.

When the lights came back on, Darlene served homemade chili and bread. The child at the head of the table took the bowl and bread and passed them to the next child and so on until the other end of the table was reached. Then we sang a grace. It was very similar to the one we sing in our weekly playgroup in the woods. In this way there was a feeling of communal breaking of bread.

After the food and a little bit of socializing (can’t be helped!), we made our way to Darlene’s bedroom to see her puppet show. It was a simple story about how Advent celebrates the birth of Christ and how Solstice celebrates the (re-) birth of the sun. Then the puppet character walked an advent spiral of his own, lit his candle from the center flame, and then walked back and placed his candle in a star.

Then the kids got ready to do the same! Darlene passed out white candles in specially prepared candle holders made out of a fresh apple (the only “cost” for this event was to bring an apple to replace the one you used). And then we all practiced singing the two songs (“Advent, Advent, A Candle Burns” and “Gloria”). Next, Darlene led the singing group to the living room, which was dark except for a solitary candle burning at the center of a spiral path made of evergreen garland.

As the adults hummed “Silent Night” each child made his or her way to the center to light a candle. Even the youngest 1 1/2 year old lit a candle by himself (he insisted). Then walking out of the spiral, each child placed his or her candle upon a golden star to light the path for the next child.

When all the candles were lit – we sat and sang – and then left quietly (or as quietly as we could manage).

What a lovely night! Thank you Darlene!

P.S. You can see more pictures of the event at Darlene’s post here.
P.P.S. The following videos are of the Advent song and Gloria.

Posted in holidays, waldorf | Leave a comment

Christmas Shopping at Costco

The following events are typical for my family in the holiday season:

1. My father cut me a check for $1500 and asked me to buy gifts for everybody in the family ($200 for me, my siblings, and spouses; $100 for each grandchild; plus shipping to far off destinations). This he did, not to assign an onerous task, but under duress from my mother who is convinced that I enjoy spending other people’s money. She’s right.

2. My sister after a month of emails telling me that she has a list of things she wants, I presume from the U.S., finally sends an email directing me to send her all of her family’s portion of the money because she needs to get new crystal wine glasses at $100 a pop – and that she’ll spend the rest of the money at her own discretion. That’s fine. I like drinking out of fine crystal at her house.

3. My brother says he doesn’t need anything (remember, he’s still trying to keep his total number of possessions to 100) and asks if I’ll put together a care package for his office (nonprofit micro-finance org in Kyrgyzstan). My family’s gift to him, he suggested, could be the postage for mailing said package.

Well, I thought, $200 would buy a lot of chocolate and cakes.

But then, I had a better idea: How about a steal-a-gift party? I decided to send six wrapped $20-30 gifts with instructions. The first person opens a gift at random. The second person can either steal the first opened gift or open a new mystery gift. Repeat four more times, but a gift can only be stolen three times before it is frozen in ownership.

My first list was nice, but impractical because it involved shopping at 3-4 stores during now peak crazy shopping time the week before Christmas (tri-ply saucepan, tri-ply omelet pan, warm pullover, pen/pencil set, Millennium trilogy, woolen socks, chocolates, hats and mittens…)

My second list is better, and practical in the extreme because everything was picked up at my neighborhood Costco in one go:

Snap-on 5 pc tool set

Fleece pullover (gray)

Sweatshirt pullover (green)

Instant Immersion English (9 CDs)

16 GB flash drive

Elizabeth Arden Visible Difference Moisture Cream

I’ll use other office goodies as packing peanuts: Am. candy bars, chapstick, and tins of peppermint Altoids.

As for my own family, Chad spend his on two deluxe camp pads from REI, Bella is applying hers to a new iPhone, Christian’s getting a fancy wooden front end loader from Nova Naturals, and I’m taking an Waldorf early childhood workshop in January.

Bella’s stocking: OPI nail polish, Ritter chocolate (dark chocolate with marzipan),  Candy Cane green tea (decaf), Rescue Remedy pastilles, See’s lollipop, Mickey Mouse lollipop

Christian’s stocking: chalk, chunky paintbrush, small backpack, Gingerbread tea (herbal), Mickey Mouse lollipop, sm. wooden shovel

Christian’s gift to Bella: a boar bristle wooden hairbrush

Bella’s gift to Christian: clothes

Posted in gifts, holidays | 1 Comment

Preview of Margie Livingston at Luis de Jesus (coming Jan 22, 2011)

(Luis De Jesus Los Angeles, Santa Monica) It started with a hairball. Margie Livingston wondered if she could draw the light filtering through that hairball —and with this challenge, launched herself into an exploration of depicting 3D space in 2D space, but always by using a model. In order to produce one of her early paintings, Livingston would build a model, often a grid-like structure of string and wood. Then the small object standing in her studio would provide inspiration for an atmospheric, tasteful oil study in space, form and light.

But recently those objects, built as models and collectively saved over the years, began to garner more interest than, or as much interest as Livingston’s paintings. And it’s no surprise that after ten years of unedited and uninhibited model-making that Livingston has developed a knack for building objects. This first show of sculptures at Luis De Jesus offers a broad view of Livingston’s newly-acknowledged talent.

Livingston is only halfway out of the closet about being sculptor; she is a painter who has begun making objects—with paint. There can be a chasm between the making and the experiencing of an artwork, but luckily that is not always to the detriment of the work. As we all make arbitrary rules to make a comprehensible reality for ourselves inside of infinity, it is quite common for an artist to set parameters for how her work will be constructed. In this case, Livingston works with acrylic paint and sees what it can do off the canvas. In doing so, that she reports that she can feel herself working through many art history giants, including Carl Andre, Charles Ray, Donald Judd, Sol LeWitt, Linda Benglis, and even Barnett Newman. While Livingston is bridging the world of painting to the world of sculpture, she still perceives herself as a painter and describes her sculptures as “paint objects.”

Granted, much painting does go into the making of her objects, from cubes, dots, decals, and wafer boards; and apart from the wire stringing a length of tiny paint dots from the ceiling to floor, every object is constructed purely of paint. In what she calls “studies for spiral blocks” Livingston literally pours gallons of paint out in sheets and lets them dry for days like so much acrylic fruit leather. Each layer is made of about two gallons of acrylic paint, poured, splashed, dripped, and painted in an expressionistic manner. After making a number of these sheets she rolls the sheets into tight logs like one might roll a jelly or sushi roll. These dense paint logs are then milled with a bandsaw into two 2×4’s that are each eight feet long. Some are cut further into sections. Because of the many thin circular layers of color that are revealed, the resulting cubes look startlingly like something between a tree trunk slice and a mille fiori glass bead.

Even more fascinating is how Livingston recontextualizes, subsumes, and feminizes traditionally macho art traditions, particularly those in abstract expressionism and minimalism (in this sense, she reminds me of LA artist Liz Larner). The image of Livingston heaving paint onto the floor inevitably brings to mind Jackson Pollock wrestling with his penis/paintbrush, a difference here is that after producing nearly a dozen of these canvas-free paintings, Livingston literally obliterates each one by rolling it up (with the help of a few friends) and then slices the log into lengths. The gesture of individual expression is sliced by machinery; layers of accident, collaboration, and culinary skills draw attention away from the hand of the artist and towards the process itself while at the same time, the object is clearly a finished product with presence.

Using a similar technique of wrapping many layers of poured acrylic “threads,” Livingston also produces solid rock-like objects that she calls wraps. These look like plasticized balls of string, but when cut open, they reveal color surprises like geodes. It makes one wonder what cross sections of Jay Defeo’s The Rose (1965) would have revealed. Defeo’s obsession with layering illustrated in the sheer bulk of that piece (3,000 pounds), takes on a completely different light when you think about it in terms of cross-sections. As process-oriented works, Livingston’s works are not monumental in a good way; building up, even obsessively, sometimes productively leads to cutting and revealing.

My favorites though are Livingston’s folded paintings. Lengths of dried paint skin are neatly folded and left sitting in piles. The simple domestic act of folding these swaths of marbled color allows the object to flux elegantly between finished product and waiting-to-be-used resource. Her newest work, such as the melted wafer board, begins to reach the limits of what the plastic paint will do physically (it stretches when hung on the wall) and it will be interesting to see if Livingston’s purist rules change and if her paint will return to canvas or other support structures.

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Margie Livingston

I’ve been writing and thinking about Margie Livingston’s recent sculptures this week.

And then somewhere along the line, I started flipping through her old paintings. I realized with a jolt that I already knew her work! In fact, she and I had met in the back of a shuttle van some three years ago at Miami Art Basal, where because we were ridiculously crunched together (I was pregnant with Christian at the time), we struck up conversation and exchanged contact information. At that time she gave me a small book of images of her work.

Such an odd coincidence. Now we are pleasantly emailing back and forth and I’m getting paid to write about her upcoming show at Luis de Jesus Gallery.

Here’s an interesting vid from her website www.margie.net.

Posted in art, art basel miami | Leave a comment

The Wonderful Wallaby

Many moms ask me where I find the time to knit. Well, handwork is one activity I CAN do when I’m hanging out with Christian – so I knit all the time, even standing in line at Disneyland. I do find, however, that Christian (and most other children I know) objects when I sit at the computer or try to read. It’s no surprise, if you think about the quality of presence your husband has when he’s on the computer – even if he’s in the same room – it’s like he’s not there at all. Christian likes for me to be around, in mind and in body, so I reserve computers and books for when he is sleeping.

I love this little black and white sweater I knit for Christian this summer. It’s the first thing I’ve actually finished for him. I highly recommend the pattern, which has instructions for sizes toddler size 2 to XXL men. I first heard about it from my friend Jaimie and couldn’t believe how adorable it was when she knit one up for her son Ryan. You can see the one that Jaimie knit at her blog here and Ryan’s adorable friend Willow is wearing one in purple here. Jaimie first discovered the wallaby pattern through this post at the purlbee blog here. The whole thing is done on circular needles and knits up FAST.

Jaimie made me a xerox of the pattern, which was very sweet, but I felt guilty after reading the pattern and discovering it was written by a mom. I swore that if I ever got around to knitting it that I would purchase the pattern properly. I did just that when I finished my first wallaby, and I got the sweetest note back. The pattern is by Cottage Creations and I bought it at iseespots.com here for $7.50.

Only thing is, that I made the sweater too small! Or I should say, just barely big enough. So, Christian wore this sweater every day for about a month running. Now it’s been washed a few times and even smaller.

I hope to get just a few more uses out of it during our upcoming winter camping trips.

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Giving Thanks at Jalama

Camping at the beach is always a treat in SoCal. To the coastline I say: I love your bone structure.

No cell phone reception for 48 hours helped me stay focused on the moment.

My husband was content and my son was deliriously happy just being outdoors. So, I was happy.
We spent all of Thanksgiving day hiking along the coast. We brought shovels to dig holes. Christian climbed dunes and jumped down. Over and over and over again.

A wild sea lion came to watch. Can you see his head peeping out at the edge of the white receding wave? Christian WAS being pretty entertaining and he probably smelled like salami from lunch.


I love campfires. Chad started both our evening fires with the flint/magnesium kit Sierra got me as a souvenir this summer. Chad’s scraping the magnesium into a little pile and then making sparks with by scraping a piece of metal across the flint. This is his first attempt. He got a blaze going impressively quickly.

I love s’mores too – we did a pretty good job of working our way through most of a bag of s’mellows.

Everything we ate was exceptionally delicious. Thanksgiving dinner was happy pork chops with grilled veggies. The famous Jalama Burger at the camp store and grill was so good that I wished we hadn’t brought so much food camping! We’ll do major holiday food when my parents come to visit at Christmas.

Way out in the ocean, we could see several oil rigs. The blops of tar on the beach were slightly menacing and we took care to give them wide berth.

While the reviews on tripadvisor.com complained about locals who would pay for a week of camping, but just leave a car to hold their spot until the weekend, this strategy worked for us; we basically had two campsites to ourselves the entire time – despite the fact that the campground was completely booked. (It’s very popular with dog owners, surfers, and fishermen.)

It was chilly though. Nothing like a bit of brisk to make you feel alive.

Posted in camping, family, holidays | 2 Comments

Letter to Christian at 2 1/2 years old

Dear Christian,

You’ve cast away aside your diggers and trucks for your brand-spanking freshly whittled bow drill fire kit, that your dad made for you tonight.

As you tell me in this video, you are “Evan” and you are teaching making fire.

You are also obsessed with light sabers.

and guns.

and swords.

Apparently anything can become a light saber, gun or sword. Got a wine cork or toilet paper roll? Then you’ve got a light saber. Got an L-shaped puzzle piece or rock? Then you’ve got a gun. Got a piece of bamboo driftwood? You’re good to go with your pirate sword.

We’re rolling with it, but making sure that you park your longer sticks out on the porch. And it’s important not to point guns at people but at targets and antique cans (as your dad’s taught you). And no JUMPING ON THE BED WITH SWORDS!

Love,

Mama

Posted in Christian Holden | 1 Comment

The Hoopla about the Em Dash

Who the?

What the?

In my recent book project with my photographer friend, Ellie, I learned a thing about en dashes and em dashes, as separate from hyphens. I brushed up on the topic by reading a discussion thread at painintheenglish.com.

“The hyphen is used to hyphenate compound words and between non-continuing numbers, e.g., phone numbers.

The en dash is used to “connect continuing, or inclusive, numbers — dates, time, or reference numbers.” [Chicago Manual of Style, sec. 5.115]

The em dash is used “to denote a sudden break in thought that causes an abrupt change in sentence structure.” [Chicago Manual of Style, sec. 5.106] When typing, it’s common to use two hyphens for an em dash. In HTML, you can also use the entity: “—”.”

I also learned that while in Word, an em dash is automatically generated by using two hypens, that you can make one manually on a PC by pressing Alt + 0151.

“An em dash is ASCI character 151, so Alt+0151 (on the numeric keypad) inserts it.
An en dash is character 150, so…

In Word on a PC, an en dash is CTRL + the numeric key pad minus sign, and an em dash is CTRL + Alt + numeric minus sign. This does not work in other programs.”

and

“On the Mac, if I type option + shift along with the dash key I get an m dash. If I type option and the dash key I get an n dash.”

Interesting, and useful for those of us who often have sudden breaks in our thought processes.

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Meeting Mulefat

The flame! The sacredness of fire is never more obvious than when you see it burst into existence with a bow drill.

Life has been so busy that it’s gotten away from me. Instead of swimming in a particular direction, I’m pretty much just letting the currents push me and take me where they will.

My husband’s on a month of vacation and somehow that’s made me even busier.

But I did have a chance to attend Jon Young’s Wilderness Skills workshop at O’Neill Regional Park last weekend.

One of the highlights was watching Evan, one of the Earthroots instructors, make fire with his locally harvested bow drill. His whole kit is made of mulefat wood, which grows all over here in south OC. Jon Young was thrilled and spoke of how the native people further north had traded their most precious resources to get a hold of plenty of mulefat. He was determined to take a few branches and get them started in his backyard in Santa Cruz.

Apparently the name comes from being a mule delicacy, rather than from having any fat in the wood. Story has it that mules liked nibbling on the salty leaves and often had distended bellies as a result; hence the name mulefat.

Mulefat is neither too hard, nor soft and makes a great “Bic” wood. Ideally, all parts of the fire kit should come from the same wood.

Evan's fire kit: board, spindle, bow, and hand piece.

A bow drill kit consists of four pieces: the bow (Evan even made the cordage!), the spindle, the hand piece, and the fire board. All the components of the kit were small and unassuming; the spindle wasn’t longer than my hand and about the width of my thumb. That rock just above the fire board is the hand piece; it protects the palm of your hand from the friction of the twisting spindle.

Evan wanted to show the entire process from start to finish, so in this first video he is simply starting a notch where the spindle will sit. Once he has a good spot started, he carves a notch in from the side – I think that might be to help air reach the heating wood. He said that he could reasonably collect his supplies, make a fire kit, and start a fire IN UNDER A HALF HOUR.

Evan has a small clump of dried mugwort sitting in a pile of dry pine needles; this is a little “nest” to provide fuel for the baby flame. You can dry it or Evan explained that the growing plants themselves often have dead and dried leaves hanging off them. He passed the mugwort around as it has a pleasant and distinctive smell.

Jon Young taught us a fire song that gained popularity through youtube: Light it up to live/ Tend it well and it will always be there.

Okay, so who’s ready to sign up for Evan’s next fire class with me?

Posted in wilderness skills | 1 Comment